Author Archives: JokesLab

Give him another chance

watching-the-football-game

A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what … Continue reading

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Stop lipstick on the mirror

breakfast-in-bed

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was … Continue reading

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Statue Fantasy

curious-dolphin-and-woman

An old wizard was walking through a park when he came upon two statues. One statue was male and the other was female. They were positioned on opposite ends of the park, facing each other with their arms extended out … Continue reading

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You know you’re from Michigan when…

porn-snow-man

1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding. 2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder. 3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt. 4) Owning … Continue reading

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Redneck Christmas shopping

funny-drinking-cheers-in-commencement

You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

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Funny and real instruction labels…

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving … Continue reading

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I am still winning

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a … Continue reading

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The wino

i-love-balls

As it was a beautiful day, a woman decided to stretch out on a park bench and soak up the sun. After ten minutes, a down-and-out wino came over to her and said: “Hi, gorgeous. How about you and me … Continue reading

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Fromal Bank

dreams-of-pigs-piggybank

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ’practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill … Continue reading

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What is it?

funny-wedding-animal-legs

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up … Continue reading

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Blind pilots

funny-eyes

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, … Continue reading

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Putting on my shoes

funny-mating-horny-giraffle-fucking-horse

One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for … Continue reading

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Before it starts

funny-shopping-bag-sexy-thigh

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten … Continue reading

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Turkey roll

funny-pull-sign-burger-king

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.” “Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.” “No, mother,” you don’t understand. “I … Continue reading

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One-word telegram

funny-ladies-put-your-butts-here

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that … Continue reading

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Bug’s end

funny-kid-i-pad-myself

Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? A: It’s ass.

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Dragging feet

funny-fountain-peeing-woman

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, ”Vietnam, 1969.” The other points his … Continue reading

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Three Wishes

photo-bomb-naked-man-with-girls

A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks … Continue reading

Posted in Animal Jokes, Genie Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How are you feeling?

why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene … Continue reading

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Naughty parrot

funny-cat-massage

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ”Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot … Continue reading

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