Tag Archives: sex

Computer gender

sexy-tech-girl

      Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. They are … Continue reading

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The fruits of love

The fruits of love

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were … Continue reading

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A cheap dinner

A cheap dinner

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and … Continue reading

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Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…

Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading

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Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair

stop-staring-tits, touch them

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He’s gotten amazingly good … Continue reading

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Kiss Bush

funny-pose-I-enjoy-the-blow-job with Mr.McDonald

A wounded American soldier in a battlefield hospital in Iraq tells the nurse: “I wish I could kiss the American flag if I am going to die!” Nurse, extremely touched by the soldier’s patriotism: “Actually, I have the American flag … Continue reading

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Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date

Playboy and boobs

1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading

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Top 10 blonde FAQs

funny-tree-braid, blonde girl

1. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant. 2. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. 3. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? … Continue reading

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Period

kids kissing in classroom

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them … Continue reading

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Arbor Day

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading

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Stand in line for that too

funny-dogs-queue-for-peeing-on-a-tree

During a busy Pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport, a crowded flight was cancelled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on … Continue reading

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Doctor’s orders

funny-woman-on-beach

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your … Continue reading

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The perfect wife

female-santa-claus

What is the perfect wife? A good-looking, sex-craved, chef who owns a liquor store.

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If you stick that damn thing in me again, I’m going to break it in half!

funny-guy-with-girl-on-thighs

A couple went to church every week, but every week without fail the husband would fall asleep during the sermon. The wife, being embarrassed by her husband’s loud snoring, decided to bring a needle to the next service and poke … Continue reading

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Is hell exothermic or endothermic?

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam for May of 1997 consisted of only one question.  His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II … Continue reading

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Sex or secs

young-girls-in-disneyland

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is Sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to … Continue reading

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Revenge

you-take-the-woman-I-take-her-drink

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to … Continue reading

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Bush and his daughters

5-us-presidents-funny-obama-over-bush

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble with the law for underage drinking, the President has lectured them constantly about the evils of alcohol. His daughters were tired of having the same conversation week after week, so they finally … Continue reading

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Tonto Kawalski

funny-guy-with-girl-on-thighs

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, … Continue reading

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Blonde license

woman-parking-car-in-pond

Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license back? Because she got an ”F” in Sex.

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