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Tag Archives: girl friend
Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged car, girl friend, mother-in-law, sex, top 10 list
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Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date

1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged date, father, girl friend, sex, top 10 list, woman
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Programmer and frog

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Computer Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged frog, girl friend, nerd, princess, programmer
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A dog named Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged divorce, dog, girl friend, license, marriage, name, sex, wife
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Boy buying condoms

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged boy, condom, dinner, girl friend, pharmacist, sex
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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bug, computer, girl friend, husband, mistress, popup, resource, upgrade, wife
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If men ruled the world

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes
Tagged beer, game, girl, girl friend, man, resume, rule, telephone, Valentine's day
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Redneck Christmas shopping

You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Redneck Jokes, Short Q & A, Texas Jokes
Tagged Christmas, gift, girl friend, mother, redneck, sister
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Women’s English

“Yes” = No “No” = Yes “Maybe” = No “I’m sorry.” = You’ll be sorry “We need” = I want “It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now. “Do what you want” = You’ll pay for … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged boy friend, english, girl friend, husband, language, wife, woman, words
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How to please your mother with your girl friend?

“What am I supposed to do?” a young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents,my mother doesn’t like.” “Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied. “All you have to do is … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged father, girl, girl friend, mother
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To my one and only love

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading
Future Irish mother-in-law

This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says: “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you just try and guess … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged girl, girl friend, marriage, mother
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