Category Archives: Office Jokes

funny jokes on work, on office life

Four men and their dogs

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Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T- square trotted over to … Continue reading

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Microsoft tech drafted

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One of Microsoft Network’s finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and … Continue reading

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Red Cross

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Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward … Continue reading

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Indian weather prediction

funny-weather-forecasting-stone

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the … Continue reading

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Differences between you and your boss

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When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an … Continue reading

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Life at work is great

photobomb-i-enjoy-masterbating and sexy girls

A young technician and his boss board a train headed through the mountains. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is … Continue reading

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Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention

woman enjoying mens-underwear

80,000 blondes are gathered for a Blondes Are Not Stupid convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way … Continue reading

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51 ways to annoy everybody

51 ways to annoy everybody

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn’t matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, … Continue reading

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Insurance salesman

Insurance salesman

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “Sorry, we don’t need anyone…” they replied. “You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anything anytime!” “Well, we have two prospects that no one … Continue reading

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Mother in law

Mother in law

A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading

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Airline food

Airline food

It was mealtime on a small airline and the stewardess asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked. She replied, “Yes or No.”

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Top ten reasons to go to work naked…

Top ten reasons to go to work naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!” 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in … Continue reading

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Top ten ways to tell someone their fly is unzipped

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1. The cucumber has left the salad. 2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 3. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now. 4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his … Continue reading

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Applying for a job at the CIA

Applying for a job at the CIA

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the … Continue reading

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New rules for employment

How to annoy your co-workers

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as … Continue reading

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How to annoy your co-workers

How to annoy your co-workers

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don’t disguise your voice. 2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a … Continue reading

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Wal-Mart vs. heaven

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I consider Wal-Mart to be God’s gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates Wal-Mart: Some old … Continue reading

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No nuts is an advantage

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A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, “Do you have any military experience?” The Marine replied, “Why, yes! I’ve been in the … Continue reading

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Deleted characters

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Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC? ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma … Continue reading

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An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman

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An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps … Continue reading

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