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Tag Archives: gift
Gift for mother-in-law
Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged birthday, cemetery plot, gift, husband, mother-in-law, wife
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0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged car, gift, scale, wedding, wife
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Cannot go up the chimney
Santa is putting presents by the tree when he hears a woman’s voice say “Santa will you please come sit with me?” Santa turns and sees a beautiful woman sitting on her couch in a very sexy gown. Santa says … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged chimney, Christmas, dick, gift, Santa, sexx, woman
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1000 Valentine cards
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and … Continue reading
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes
Tagged card, gift, lawyer, Valentine's day
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Arbor Day
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged gift, husband, sex, wife
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The right choice
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed … Continue reading
Father Christmas gift
Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ’from Father Christmas.’ A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged child, Christmas, father, gift, mother
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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…
10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged Christmas, dog, gift, top 10 list
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Holding for ransom
Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of presents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray. “God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged Christmas, gift, God, kid
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Sons
Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bar, father, gay, gift, son
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Charming
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged child, gift, husband, Mississippi, Texas, wife
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Valentine’s day gift for ex-wives
A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines’ cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have anything for … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes
Tagged card, dart, ex-wife, gift, Valentine's day
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Register wedding gifts
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged drug, gift, marriage
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Singing parrot
A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot. ”It’s beautiful!” cried the man, ”Does … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged fire, gift, husband, match, parrot, pet, sing, song, wife
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Mom’s favourite gift
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. “Well,” said the first one, “I … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged Beverly Hills, child, gift, Mercedes, mother, parrot, son
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Good sons
Three women started boasting about their sons. “What a birthday I had last year!” exclaimed the first. “My son, that wonderful boy, threw me a big party in a fancy restaurant. He even paid for plane tickets for my friends.” … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged birthday, cruise, gift, Greece, mother, plane, psychiatrist, son
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Redneck Christmas shopping
You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Redneck Jokes, Short Q & A, Texas Jokes
Tagged Christmas, gift, girl friend, mother, redneck, sister
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Gift for teacher
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said “I bet I know what it is — it’s some … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Campus Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged candy, child, classroom, flower, gift, puppy, teacher, wine
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Valentine’s day dream
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said. … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes
Tagged book, dream, gift, husband, Valentine's day, wife
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To my one and only love
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading
