Tag Archives: marriage

The guardian angel

funny wedding photo

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. ” Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick … Continue reading

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The fruits of love

The fruits of love

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were … Continue reading

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Translating male phrases

wine-baby-feeding

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.” Really means…. “There is no … Continue reading

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You can try again

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, she confides this ’news’ to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”The girl picks up the … Continue reading

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Devil in the church

Jennifer-Lawrence-Oscars-fuck-you-photo

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan … Continue reading

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I can’t get into your panties!

checking-boyfriend-bird

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put … Continue reading

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A Tennessee divorce

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce, can they still be brother and sister?

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Black and white in weddings

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The … Continue reading

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What kind of boy did your daughter marry?

funny-wedding-cake-you-cannot-run-away

Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, “What kind of boy did your daughter marry?” “Oh, he’s wonderful,” gushed the mother. “He lets her sleep late, ants her … Continue reading

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Register wedding gifts

funny-and-sexy-condom-ads-long-pleasure-condom

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses … Continue reading

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the secret of success in marriage

sexy-y-gen-mother-underwear

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made … Continue reading

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Marriage lessons

funny-wedding-cake-you-cannot-run-away

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us Tom, just what is it you have … Continue reading

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Henry Ford on marriage

funny-wedding-cake-show-your-weapon

A reporter asked Henry Ford the secret of his successful married life. “Same as with cars – STICK TO ONE MODEL.”

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Good or bad?

casual-wedding

A recently-married man goes into a drugstore to pick up some things. The clerk greets him…. Clerk: Hey, how did the wedding go? Man: Well, we got married. Clerk: That’s good! Man: No, that’s bad. I wasn’t wearing any clothes. … Continue reading

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I am married to your sister

funny-wedding-costume-mask

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.  She dresses up like Satan and decides to hide in the … Continue reading

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She made me a better offer

unhappy-bride

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and … Continue reading

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Heavenly Reward

bikini-girl-on-beach

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading

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Mushrooms and marriage

boy-raider

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.” “Oh, how tragic! … Continue reading

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Get your oil changed

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby … Continue reading

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Buy me out

boy-and-sexy-model

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man.”To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner … Continue reading

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