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Category Archives: Lawyer Jokes
1000 Valentine cards

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and … Continue reading
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes
Tagged card, gift, lawyer, Valentine's day
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Third question
Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. … Continue reading
Great-uncle George

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged execution, prison
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God sues Satan, Satan laughs, why?

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes
Tagged engineer, God, lawyer, Satan, St. Peter
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Where’s my Rolex?

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side … Continue reading
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged car, lawyer, Lexus, police, Rolex, watch
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Definition of crying shame
Question for lawyer

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Lawyer Jokes
Tagged accident, heaven, lawyer, St. Peter, teacher, thief, Titanic
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Surgeon’s favourite

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged accountant, doctor, electrician, lawyer, librarian
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Things people really said in court

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Short Q & A, Texas Jokes
Tagged birthday, court, lawyer, memory, question
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Price of heart

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged doctor, heart, kid, lawyer, smoker, sports
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A lawyer and a sperm
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged human, lawyer, sperm
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Third question
From beautiful to cute

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged hospital, lawyer, surgery, wife
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