Tag Archives: TV

Buying TV

sexy-wife-in-kitchen

A blonde walks into an appliance store, and asks to buy a television set. “Sorry,” says the owner. “We don’t allow blondes in here.” The blonde leaves and dyes her hair brown. The next day, she returns and asks to … Continue reading

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The perfect man

funny-gorilla-enjoying-the-breast

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. … Continue reading

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Things I’ve learned from my children

first-ticket-for-speeding

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. … Continue reading

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Famous last words

photo-bomb-naked-man

* I’ll get a world record for this. * Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. * Let’s ask that group of basketball players for directions. * Here’s my Kent State student ID. * … Continue reading

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Prison vs. Work

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8′ X 10′ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6′ X 8′ cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you … Continue reading

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Heal, not raise the dead

funny-gay-monkeys

An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it’s soon time for the healing portion of the show. “If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on … Continue reading

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Before it starts

funny-shopping-bag-sexy-thigh

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten … Continue reading

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Daytime television

funny-sale-sign-save-10

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. “Do you watch much television here?” “Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t … Continue reading

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what the new year looks like

funny-how-to-lift-baby

A family of three where sitting next to the TV watching the countdown for the new year. The two brothers (one 7 the other 5) cheered when the countdown had finished. The youngest one raced to the nearest window to … Continue reading

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A bet

I-rule-because-I-have-pussy

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead … Continue reading

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A reasonable wife

funny sign keep this area clean

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, “Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a … Continue reading

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