Tag Archives: beer

A cheap dinner

A cheap dinner

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and … Continue reading

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International beer syndrome

two-beers-are-better-than-one

An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out. American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks the beer. Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer. … Continue reading

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Magic beer

bad-kid-drinking-smoking

So this guy walks into a bar and says, “Gve me two beers.” The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says, “Give me two more beers.” So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man … Continue reading

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Piss in the boat

two-beers-are-better-than-one

Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from the lamp. Unfortunately, it was a very low-level genie and … Continue reading

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Beer and female hormones

funny-When-you-drink-too-much

“Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains large traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons for being an American

funny-pose-obama-enjoying-blow-job

1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading

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How to impress a woman, and a man

how-to-please-a-woman

1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug her. 5) Hold her. 6) Surprise her. 7) Compliment her. 8) Smile at her. 9) Laugh with her. 10) Cry with her 11) Cuddle with her. 12) Shop with … Continue reading

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If men ruled the world

so-many-cctvs

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading

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Men and Women

funny-gorilla

I’M GLAD I’M A MAN I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe; I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where … Continue reading

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Open a beer

sexy-bow-and-arching-girl

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.

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Rejected

terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading

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Ready to go home

funny-erection-in-progress

There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This … Continue reading

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We are on the patch

funny-and-sexy-ads-swallowing-sperm

Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging a few beers when they see a road block ahead with police checking for drunk drivers. The blonde in the passenger seat starts to panic and the driver tells her to calm … Continue reading

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Drinking buddies

photo-bomb-dog-mating

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So where are you from, then?” “I’m from Ireland.” … Continue reading

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Hymn #365

funny-and-sexy-ads-flirt-vodka

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis, he said, “And if I … Continue reading

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Time to go home

sex-education-she-may-look-clean-but

Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day’s work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked … Continue reading

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Before it starts

funny-shopping-bag-sexy-thigh

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten … Continue reading

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Insane asylum fence

horny-monkey

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help … Continue reading

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How much should I drink?

funny-When-you-drink-too-much

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes … Continue reading

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Female hormones in beer

Two men were in a pub. One man said, ”Did you know that beer contains female hormones?” The other man said, ”No! Is it true?” ”Yes,” said the first man. ”If you drink too much, you start talking crap and … Continue reading

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