Category Archives: People Jokes

Jokes on all kinds of people, police, fireman, official, bankers….

Gift for mother-in-law

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading

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Four men and their dogs

funny-wrongly-placed-ads-icecream

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T- square trotted over to … Continue reading

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Microsoft tech drafted

funny-sale-sign-save-10

One of Microsoft Network’s finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and … Continue reading

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Smart Dog

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in … Continue reading

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Just fake it

human-meat

A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. “Help!” cried the cellist, “I can’t swim!” “Don’t worry,” said the violist, “just fake it.“

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Sandy was drinking at a pub

funny-who-deserves-what-for-a-bicycle-fan

Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading

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Texan with a new car

funny-car-beast

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. “I know that smart aleck Tex,” said the first. “He’s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.” “Not Tex,” the second cowboy … Continue reading

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A rare book

funny-reading-book-cover-in-train

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” Gasped … Continue reading

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0 to 200 in 6 seconds

funny-girl-smelling-her-breast

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER … Continue reading

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Differences between you and your boss

funny-sale-sign-save $-10

When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an … Continue reading

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Life at work is great

photobomb-i-enjoy-masterbating and sexy girls

A young technician and his boss board a train headed through the mountains. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is … Continue reading

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51 ways to annoy everybody

51 ways to annoy everybody

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn’t matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, … Continue reading

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Move your cat

Move your cat

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and … Continue reading

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Insurance salesman

Insurance salesman

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “Sorry, we don’t need anyone…” they replied. “You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anything anytime!” “Well, we have two prospects that no one … Continue reading

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Mother in law

Mother in law

A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading

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Solitary confinement: anybody got a match?

Solitary confinement: anybody got a match?

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they’re all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They’re each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of … Continue reading

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Halftime, Switch Sides

Halftime. Switch sides.

A travelling salesman was out in the country one evening and wasn’t sure how to get back to the main highway. He came upon a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. “Sure,” said the farmer. … Continue reading

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Applying for a job at the CIA

Applying for a job at the CIA

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the … Continue reading

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10 signs you are internet-addicted

10 signs you are internet-addicted

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your facebook on the way back to bed. 9) Your firstborn is named Dotcom. 8) You turn off your router and are suddenly filled with a … Continue reading

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Closed for the winter

Closed for the winter, blonde couple

Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see ”Closed for the Winter”.

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