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Category Archives: Holiday Jokes
Gift for mother-in-law
Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged birthday, cemetery plot, gift, husband, mother-in-law, wife
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Red Cross
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged donation, office, red cross, rescue, ski, traveller
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Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention
80,000 blondes are gathered for a Blondes Are Not Stupid convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged blonde, meeting
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Bad education
Its Christmas at a normal family’s home…. 4 year old sister, mom, dad, 16 year old sister and 14 year old brother. Mom in the kitchen stuffing the turkey. All of a sudden turkey falls off counter and mom goes … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged child, Christmas, dirty, education
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Cannot go up the chimney
Santa is putting presents by the tree when he hears a woman’s voice say “Santa will you please come sit with me?” Santa turns and sees a beautiful woman sitting on her couch in a very sexy gown. Santa says … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged chimney, Christmas, dick, gift, Santa, sexx, woman
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1000 Valentine cards
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and … Continue reading
Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Valentine's Day Jokes
Tagged card, gift, lawyer, Valentine's day
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Arbor Day
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged gift, husband, sex, wife
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The right choice
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed … Continue reading
Screw light bulb
How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The Bible makes no mention of light bulbs.
10 things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren’t…
10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.” 9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!” 8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!” 7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.” 6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!” … Continue reading
A blonde’s Thanksgiving dinner
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. “Oh, mother, I … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Thanksgiving Jokes
Tagged blonde, dinner, thanksgiving, turkey
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Stand in line for that too
During a busy Pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport, a crowded flight was cancelled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged airline, airport, Australia, Christmas, girl, queue, sex, ticket
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Rate your Chrsitmas party
Next time, make sure your party reaches the correct “Festivity Level….” Festivity Level One: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling on … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged Christmas, house, noise, party, police, rating, violence
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Father Christmas gift
Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ’from Father Christmas.’ A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged child, Christmas, father, gift, mother
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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…
10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged Christmas, dog, gift, top 10 list
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Holding for ransom
Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of presents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray. “God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged Christmas, gift, God, kid
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Santa Claus and Bubba Claus
A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming … Continue reading
Salesman
The manager of a megastore came to check on his new salesman. “How many customers did you serve today?” the manager asked. “One,” replied the new guy. “Only one?” said the boss, “how much was the sale?” The salesman answered, … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged boat, car, fishing, salesman
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Discrimination
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ”Well, I played in the sandbox,” she said. The teacher said, ”If you can spell sand, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” So Susie … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged cookie, sandbox, spelling, teacher
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Top 10 bad things to hear on an airplane
10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore. 9. We’re cruising at an altitude of… ah, hell, I don’t know. 8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged airplane, captain, top 10 list
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