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Tag Archives: ass
Help me get this human out of my ass
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?” The duck says, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”
Men and diapers
Why are men like diapers? They are always on my ass and full of shit – thank goodness they’re disposable!
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged ass, diaper, man, shit
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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass
A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged accident, ass, blind, dog, head, police, traffic
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Horse’s ass
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Office Jokes, Politician Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged ass, horse, railroad, standard
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The secret of speed
Plane: How do you fly so fast? Rocket: You’ll know when your ass is on fire!
Goose & lawyer
Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can’t do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Donkey compliment
How do you compliment a donkey? ”Hey, nice ass!”
Posted in Animal Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged animal, ass, buttocks, compliment, donkey
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Bug’s end
Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? A: It’s ass.
Lip gloss
An old Texan cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged animal, ass, bar, cowboy, horse, kiss, lip, Texas
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