Tag Archives: ass

Help me get this human out of my ass

Help me get this human out of my ass

A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?” The duck says, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”

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Men and diapers

funny-guy-with-girl-on-thighs

Why are men like diapers? They are always on my ass and full of shit – thank goodness they’re disposable!

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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading

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Horse’s ass

ducks-crossing-road

The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by … Continue reading

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The secret of speed

funny-girl-i-love-to-fart

Plane: How do you fly so fast? Rocket: You’ll know when your ass is on fire!  

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Goose & lawyer

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can’t do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.  

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Donkey compliment

funny-photo-with-buttocks

How do you compliment a donkey? ”Hey, nice ass!”

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Bug’s end

funny-kid-i-pad-myself

Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? A: It’s ass.

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Lip gloss

skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman

An old Texan cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy … Continue reading

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