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Category Archives: Car Jokes
I’ll just wait on the cops
A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe. ”Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a … Continue reading
Fast food blondes
Blonde in a car
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?” ”Why sure,” said … Continue reading
A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a branch manager
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Car Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged accident, brake, car, engineer, hardware, manager, mountain, software
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Safety competition award
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. ”What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked. … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged car, drink, police, safety
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Sanitary Blonde
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged blonde, drive, family, restroom, sign
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Microsoft car
At a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Computer Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged Bill Gates, car, General Motors, Microsoft
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I got the license plate number
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. “Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she … Continue reading
Pope in New York
The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ”You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, New York Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged car, driver, New York, police, pope, speeding
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Wrong way
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way … Continue reading
the Pope is his driver
One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. “Driver? Can I drive for a while?” “Sure,” says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged car, driver, police, pope
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Wishes
Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked,”When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged accident, car, God, heaven, wishes
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Three girls in the desert
A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.” The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.” Then the blonde says I brought … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged blode, car, desert, lotion, water, window
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Blonde riding
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, ” do ya see any cops following us?” The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged blonde, brunette, car, police
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Heavenly Reward
Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged car, cheat, husband, Jaguar, marriage, Mercedes, Pinto, St. Peter, wife
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Gynecologist work
A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he’d become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged engine, engineer, gynecologist, job
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Blonde and police car
A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged blonde, car, driving, police
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