Tag Archives: police

Rate your Chrsitmas party

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

Next time, make sure your party reaches the correct “Festivity Level….” Festivity Level One: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling on … Continue reading

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The blue eye

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted in him getting his eye gouged out. He was rushed to hospital, and, after awaking from an emergency operation, was told by the doctor that he’d been given a … Continue reading

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Safety competition award

Funny-expressway-parking-only-seen-in-USA

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. ”What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked. … Continue reading

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Where’s my Rolex?

Dmitry-Medvedev-got-faked-jacket

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver’s side … Continue reading

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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading

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They’re busy

bad-kid-drinking-smoking

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. “May I speak to your parents?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The police.” “Can I speak to them?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The firemen.” “Can … Continue reading

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Pope in New York

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ”You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” … Continue reading

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Only when he’s drunk

safety-driving-school

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading

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the Pope is his driver

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. “Driver? Can I drive for a while?” “Sure,” says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the … Continue reading

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Blonde on the run

perfect-buttocks

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately … Continue reading

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Blonde riding

blonde-car

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, ” do ya see any cops following us?” The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, … Continue reading

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Blonde and police car

car-crash-photo

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s … Continue reading

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Stop sign

state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied. “You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained. “But … Continue reading

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Nudist camp and police

mans-dream-job-cream-woman-buttocks

Somebody recent vandalized the local nudist camp. They put a hole in the wall, and the police are currently looking into it.

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Old whore

funny-photo-woman-and-pooping-dog

A whorehouse gets busted. The girls are lined up out front, and a cop is going down the line giving them all tickets. A little, old lady approaches one of the girls at the end of the line and asks, … Continue reading

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Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

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I was delivering this bridge

funny-blind-driving

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars … Continue reading

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Blonde driving

funny-3d-tv

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving really badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, ”Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?” The blonde said, ”I’m … Continue reading

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We are on the patch

funny-and-sexy-ads-swallowing-sperm

Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging a few beers when they see a road block ahead with police checking for drunk drivers. The blonde in the passenger seat starts to panic and the driver tells her to calm … Continue reading

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Mexican smuggler

funny-shopping-bag-watermelon

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that get … Continue reading

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