Tag Archives: dog

Not my dog

hot-dog-mating-monkey

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ”Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and … Continue reading

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Four men and their dogs

funny-wrongly-placed-ads-icecream

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T- square trotted over to … Continue reading

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Smart Dog

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in … Continue reading

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Mother in law

Mother in law

A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading

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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading

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cat scan and lab tests

hot-dog-mating-monkey

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body … Continue reading

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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading

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Blonde on the run

perfect-buttocks

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately … Continue reading

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Things I’ve learned from my children

first-ticket-for-speeding

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 4. … Continue reading

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Little Johnny’s essay

why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend

Little Johnny’s teacher said, “Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister’s.” Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”

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A dog named Sex

a-dog-named-sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Spot”. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog’s license, I told the … Continue reading

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Bad dog

why-lie-i-need-a-cold-beer

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he … Continue reading

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Hot dog

funny-cat-riding-dog

Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, … Continue reading

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Difference between woman and dog

mimi-skirt-girl-fuck-you

What’s the difference between a woman and dog at your front door? The dog will stop barking once you let it in!

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Blonde’s sheep

funny-photobomb-beauty-and-buttocks

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you … Continue reading

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Return the bird dog

funny-dog-trapped-in-tree

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a bird dog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet … Continue reading

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Cat scan

funny-dog-and-puppet

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn’t at her feet. She found him in … Continue reading

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Not allowed up on the furniture

why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know … Continue reading

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Watch dog

funny-Japanes-cartoon-in-bus-stop

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head. Everyone stopped what … Continue reading

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Playing violin

dog-photo-and-cat-photobomb

Little Johnny was practicing the violin in the living room, while his father was trying to read. The family dog was at there too, and, on hearing the screeching sounds, began to howl. Johnny’s father listened to the dog and … Continue reading

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