Category Archives: Family Jokes

Gift for mother-in-law

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading

Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Woman’s age

funny-panties-your-boyfriend-wants-me

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life pattern

funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Sandy was drinking at a pub

funny-who-deserves-what-for-a-bicycle-fan

Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading

Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

A loyal wife

funny-shit-slogan-i-will-not-love-you-long-time

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The guardian angel

funny wedding photo

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. ” Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

funny-girl-smelling-her-breast

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Your horse called up

funny-and-sexy-ad-mens-dream-wife

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” the man asked. The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Wife knows everything

Wife knows everything

For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. No longer need them — damn wife knows everything!!

Posted in Family Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

How to bath a cat

How to bath a cat

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open … Continue reading

Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Relationship guide

Relationship guide

For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mother in law

Mother in law

A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The fruits of love

The fruits of love

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hearing problem

Hearing problem

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, ”Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” ”Well,” … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!

He

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date

Playboy and boobs

1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Period

kids kissing in classroom

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them … Continue reading

Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Arbor Day

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10 differences between man and woman

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow … Continue reading

Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The right choice

funny-family-photo-couple-and-a-masturbating-son

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed … Continue reading

Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes | Tagged , , | Leave a comment