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Tag Archives: husband
Gift for mother-in-law
Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged birthday, cemetery plot, gift, husband, mother-in-law, wife
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Woman’s age
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged age, cosmetics, hair, husband, mirror, skin, wife, woman
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A loyal wife
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged casket, check, husband, money, wife
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Your horse called up
A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. “What was that for?” the man asked. The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged horse, husband, pants, telephone, wife
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You’re the next
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged blonde, gun, husband, redhead
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Relationship guide
For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged family, guide, husband, man, relationship, wife, woman
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Hearing problem
A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, ”Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.” ”Well,” … Continue reading
Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair
10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He’s gotten amazingly good … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged computer, date, husband, internet, sex, top 10 list, wife
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Arbor Day
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged gift, husband, sex, wife
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Kiss your cheek
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged buttocks, cheek, husband, mother-in-law, surgery, wife
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Doctor’s orders
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged breakfast, dinner, doctore, husband, lunch, sex
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The perfect wife
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged husband, liquor, sex, wife
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If you stick that damn thing in me again, I’m going to break it in half!
A couple went to church every week, but every week without fail the husband would fall asleep during the sermon. The wife, being embarrassed by her husband’s loud snoring, decided to bring a needle to the next service and poke … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes
Tagged church, God, husband, sex, sleep, wife
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3 eggs and 10,000 dollars
One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. “Oh, that,” … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bed, cheat, egg, husband, money, wife
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Sweet talk
On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying “Pass the sugar, sugar…. Pass the honey, honey.” Then he says, “Pass the tea, you old … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged airplane, honey, husband, wife
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Charming
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged child, gift, husband, Mississippi, Texas, wife
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They’re all at the funeral
A man had tickets to see the Gold Medal Volleyball Match at the Olympics, front row, center court. As he sits down, a woman comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. “No,” he … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, Family Jokes, Sports Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged funeral, husband, Olympic, volleyball, wife
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I can’t get into your panties!
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged honeymoon, husband, marriage, panties, wife
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