Category Archives: Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes

this is hot jokes on man and woman, all aspects

Women’s English

funny-blow-job

“Yes” = No “No” = Yes “Maybe” = No “I’m sorry.” = You’ll be sorry “We need” = I want “It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now. “Do what you want”  = You’ll pay for … Continue reading

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How much should I drink?

funny-When-you-drink-too-much

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes … Continue reading

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Good and bad

I-love-my-marriage

“Did ya hear I got married?” “Oh, that’s good.” “No, that’s bad! She’s ugly!” “Oh, that’s bad.” “No, that’s good! She’s rich.” “Oh, that’s good!” “No, that’s bad! She won’t give me a cent.” “Oh, that’s bad.” “No, that’s good! … Continue reading

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Final confession

funny-mating-giraffe-fucking-horse

Brittany was on her deathbed with her husband Adam at her side. “Honey, I need to make a confession.” whimpered Brittany groggily, “I slept with your brother, your cousin, and your father.” ”It’s okay, Sweetie. I know,” replied Adam as … Continue reading

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Romantic food

who-deserves-what-for-a-bicycle-fan

Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads. He observed … Continue reading

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Suicidal Blonde

funny-blow-job

One day a blonde finds out from her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. So one day she goes out to the mall and buys a gun. After that she goes to her boyfriend’s house. She busts down … Continue reading

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Funeral arrangements

funny-japanese-bra-clown

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. “Sidney thought of everything,” she told them. “Just before he died, Sidney called me to his … Continue reading

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Justification for child custody

sleeping-daddy-and-kid

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she … Continue reading

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I am admiring my new boots

funny-car-red-heel-shoes

An attractive woman was browsing in an exclusive New York shoe store when a pair of boots caught her eye. She immediately fell in love with them, but was put off by the $950 price tag. Seeing her dilemma, the … Continue reading

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French definition of Savoir-faire

funny-and-sexy-condom-ads-long-pleasure-condom

Three Frenchmen were trying to define savoir-faire. “If I go home,” said Alphonse, “and find my wife with another man, say ’Excuse me’ and leave, that is savoir-faire.” “No,” replied Pierre, “if I go home and find my wife with … Continue reading

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How to please your mother with your girl friend?

date-stamp-no-need-to-ask-age

“What am I supposed to do?” a young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents,my mother doesn’t like.” “Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied. “All you have to do is … Continue reading

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How was your date last night, Billy?

funny-blonde-parking-2

“How was your date last night, Billy?” his friend asked. “Fabulous. We went to the concert, had a bite to eat, and then we drove around for a while until I found a nice dark spot to park. I asked … Continue reading

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The 7 dwarves

photo-bomb-dog-mating

The 7 Dwarves are standing outside a convent. Then Happy goes and knocks on the door. A nun answers and says “Can I help you, my child?” Happy says “Are there any 3 foot nuns in this convent?” The nun … Continue reading

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Whole wheat bread

funny-angry-man-and-happy-couple

Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, “Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!” Leon replies, “You’re kidding! I can’t even manage to do it once! What’s your … Continue reading

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A great surprise

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

A ret ired man went to a doctor for a general check-up. The doctor told the retiree that everything was fine and that, in fact, he was”in real good shape for a man of 93.” “That’s good to know because … Continue reading

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No undies

funny-dog-staring-at-thong-falling-woman

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” … Continue reading

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Would you remarry?

condom-ads-crosswords

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question…. * WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?” o HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” * … Continue reading

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Before and after marriage

reality-sucks

Before marriage: He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don’t even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! She: Have you ever cheated on … Continue reading

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Just three words

funny-and-creative-bra-designs-japan

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub in a Valentine’s day night. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked … Continue reading

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Adam and Eve

save-a-virgin-do-me-instead

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate. “Eve, honey, you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel … Continue reading

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment