Category Archives: Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes

this is hot jokes on man and woman, all aspects

Valentine’s day dream

photo-bomb-horse-face

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said. … Continue reading

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To my one and only love

valentine-day-gift-condom

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading

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The Chinese virgins

funny-photo-in-china

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He … Continue reading

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Making a cake

wedding photo, mating dogs

A boy and his Chinese family went to the zoo, and they saw two monkeys having sex. The boy asked “What are they doing?” The parents replied “Making a cake.” On the way home, they saw two poodles having sex. … Continue reading

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Tell me the color

real-porn-star

A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the doctor, “Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it’s being born.” The doctor is understandably a little puzzled … Continue reading

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Code word for sex

i-fucked-you

A husband and wife decided they needed to use “code” to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. One day the husband told his five year old … Continue reading

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A father’s last request

funny-tear-off-my-number-on skirt

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually … Continue reading

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I married into the family of pigs..

funny-lion-horse-ride

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband … Continue reading

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How to keep the marriage, and save money

funny-pose-i-catchp-the-bird

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband’s ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it. For fifty long years Uncle Jack … Continue reading

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New Year’s present

funny-slogan-i-wish-these-were-brains, sexy blonde

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, ’I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do … Continue reading

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A man’s brain cells

funny dog, even-dog-knows where to find fun from woman

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell who accidentally ended up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. “Hello?” she cried, but no answer. “Is there anyone here?” she … Continue reading

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The Abortion Bill

save-a-virgin-do-me-instead

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. “What is it?” exclaims the President. “It’s the Abortion Bill, Mr. President – what do you want to do about … Continue reading

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Double for mother-in-law

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, “OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half … Continue reading

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Guessing

funny details of a model, breast only

Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess … Continue reading

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To feel like a woman

funny blow job

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in … Continue reading

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Future Irish mother-in-law

horse face and a lady

This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says: “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you just try and guess … Continue reading

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I would have gotten out today

man-and-woman-before-marriage

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He … Continue reading

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A reasonable wife

funny sign keep this area clean

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, “Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a … Continue reading

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How to please a woman?

happy-time-for-girls-and-funny-guy

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only”. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, … Continue reading

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The Manager’s Problem

obama enjoying the blow job

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill… He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the … Continue reading

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