Category Archives: Restaurant Jokes

Jokes on food, restaurants, waiters

Airline food

Airline food

It was mealtime on a small airline and the stewardess asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked. She replied, “Yes or No.”

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A cheap dinner

A cheap dinner

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and … Continue reading

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Blonde working at Starbucks

sexy-wife-in-kitchen

A blonde is working at the local Starbucks. A lady walks in and orders an Iced Cappuccino. ”Do you want it hot or cold?”

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Waiter and fart

funny-shark-seat-and-woman

A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and … Continue reading

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Matzo ball soup

funny-bush-picking-up-phone

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. They arrived and Dubya’s friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George … Continue reading

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Dead mouse in the hot chile

big-breast-helps

A guy sits down in a Cafe’ and asks for the hot chile. The waitress says, “The guy next to you got the last bowl.” He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the chili bowl … Continue reading

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Honeymoon spaghetti

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary’s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, “Waiter! Waiter! Come over … Continue reading

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The breakfast order

black-burger

A man arrives at the breakfast room in the hotel at which he is staying and calls over the head waiter. “I believe that this morning I would like two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and … Continue reading

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Where is this place?

state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more … Continue reading

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15 ways to be annoying

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money. 2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call. 3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your … Continue reading

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Sharing

photo-bomb-beard-man-wedding

There was an elderly couple who went to McDonald’s. They ordered one cheeseburger, one large fry, one large drink, and an extra large soda. When the old couple sat down, the man sitting next to them watched the old man … Continue reading

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Hot dog

funny-cat-riding-dog

Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, … Continue reading

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Real job application

man

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald’s. They hired him. NAME – Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION – Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying … Continue reading

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Open a beer

sexy-bow-and-arching-girl

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.

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A blonde and a waitress

funny-store-name-love-juice

A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she’s deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress’s name tag on her shirt. ”Gee, that’s nice. What did … Continue reading

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Magic mirror

funny-photobomb-beauty-and-buttocks

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and … Continue reading

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Sunbath

funny-guy-exposing-buttocks-in-girls-group-photo

A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn’t care so much, though, because nobody ever came … Continue reading

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Party talk

funny-photo-couple-in-beach

A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”

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Compliments

yard-sign-cheating-husband

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal. “Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the … Continue reading

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Panda bear

funny-car-note

A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders. The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to … Continue reading

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