Tag Archives: top 10 list

Differences between you and your boss

funny-sale-sign-save $-10

When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat

Top 10 reasons why cats are small women in fur coat

1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They’re totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. … Continue reading

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Top ten reasons to go to work naked…

Top ten reasons to go to work naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!” 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in … Continue reading

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Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend’s parents…

Top ten things NOT to say to your new girlfriend

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I’m not sure how long that cop car will stay lost. 9. There ain’t nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara’s … Continue reading

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Top ten signs your spouse is having a cyber affair

stop-staring-tits, touch them

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked. 9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette. 8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive. 7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up. 6. He’s gotten amazingly good … Continue reading

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Top 10 things NOT to say to a father when picking up his daughter for a date

Playboy and boobs

1. “Now.. show me how you used to spank her.” 2. “Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?” 3. “I just got my license today.” 4. “Five bucks says she’s a D-cup.” … Continue reading

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Top 10 blonde FAQs

funny-tree-braid, blonde girl

1. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant. 2. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. 3. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? … Continue reading

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Top 10 differences between man and woman

curious-man-studying-girls-buttocks

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow … Continue reading

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Top ten ways to tell someone their fly is unzipped

funny-football-stars-enjoying-blow-jobs

1. The cucumber has left the salad. 2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 3. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now. 4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his … Continue reading

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Top 10 rejection lines for male and female

Top 10 rejection lines for male and female

10. I think of you as a brother.Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’ 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don’t want to do my dad. 8. I’m not attracted to you … Continue reading

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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading

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Top 20 signs that it’s a bad day

funny-family-photo-in-swimming-pool

You wake up face down on the pavement. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. You see a ”60 minutes” news team waiting in your office. Your … Continue reading

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10 things your mom would never say to you

combing-hais-mother-and-daughters

10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and … Continue reading

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Top 10 bad things to hear on an airplane

bikini-girl-on-beach

10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore. 9. We’re cruising at an altitude of… ah, hell, I don’t know. 8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button … Continue reading

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Cute little sayings

buttocks-shot

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane. 3. It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at  the end. 4. The problem with the … Continue reading

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TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX….

funny-and-sexy-condom-ads-long-pleasure-condom

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get … Continue reading

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Performance evaluations

terrosists-in-beach

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a … Continue reading

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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN’T

bikini-girl-on-beach

10. Nuts…my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs … Continue reading

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Famous last words

photo-bomb-naked-man

* I’ll get a world record for this. * Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. * Let’s ask that group of basketball players for directions. * Here’s my Kent State student ID. * … Continue reading

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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND…

hsexy-girl-hugs-for-25cents

10. Cats’ facial expressions 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors 8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds 7. Fat clothes 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time 5. The … Continue reading

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