Tag Archives: house

Rate your Chrsitmas party

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

Next time, make sure your party reaches the correct “Festivity Level….” Festivity Level One: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling on … Continue reading

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Buy lotto

funny-badge-i-had-sex-this-morning

A blonde owned a small business that she was about to lose, so she went to the church and prayed: “God, if I don’t win the lotto, I will lose my business.” She didn’t win. So the next day she … Continue reading

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Ending the argument

how-to-please-a-woman

A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car. She curtly declines his offer by saying, “That’s not quite what I had in mind.” Frantically he offers her a new house. Again she rejects … Continue reading

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Good or bad?

casual-wedding

A recently-married man goes into a drugstore to pick up some things. The clerk greets him…. Clerk: Hey, how did the wedding go? Man: Well, we got married. Clerk: That’s good! Man: No, that’s bad. I wasn’t wearing any clothes. … Continue reading

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Wrong number?

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. “How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?” “Oh, mom, the baby won’t eat, the washing machine is broke, I’ve not been … Continue reading

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Good and bad

I-love-my-marriage

“Did ya hear I got married?” “Oh, that’s good.” “No, that’s bad! She’s ugly!” “Oh, that’s bad.” “No, that’s good! She’s rich.” “Oh, that’s good!” “No, that’s bad! She won’t give me a cent.” “Oh, that’s bad.” “No, that’s good! … Continue reading

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The insane conductor

funny-ads-jumbo-peanuts-kayaking

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, “While you were out, the conductor … Continue reading

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The house

What kind of house weighs the least? A lighthouse.

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I farted and my neighbor’s house blew up

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided to drop stuff on the town they were flying over. One dropped a book, one dropped a brick, and one dropped a bomb, just for fun. They then landed, to … Continue reading

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