Women’s English


Bitch is bitch!

“Yes” = No

“No” = Yes

“Maybe” = No

“I’m sorry.” = You’ll be sorry

“We need” = I want

“It’s your decision” = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

“Do what you want”  = You’ll pay for this later.

“We need to talk”  = I need to complain.

“Sure… go ahead”  = I don’t want you to.

“I’m not upset”  = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

“You’re … so manly”  = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

“You’re certainly attentive tonight”  = Is sex all you ever think about?

“Be romantic, turn out the lights”= I have flabby thighs.

“This kitchen is so inconvenient”  = I want a new house.

“I want new curtains”  = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..

“Hang the picture there” = NO, I mean hang it there!

“I heard a noise”  = I noticed you were almost asleep.

“Do you love me?”  = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

“How much do you love me?”  =I did something today you’re really not going to like.

“I’ll be ready in a minute.”  = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

“Is my butt fat?”  = Tell me I’m beautiful.

“You have to learn to communicate.”  = Just agree with me.

“Are you listening to me!?”  = [Too late, you’re dead.]

“Was that the baby?” = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

“I’m not yelling!”  = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

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