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Category Archives: Bar Jokes
Sandy was drinking at a pub
Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged bar, bed, drink, sleep, wheelchair, wife
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A bet
Bob is a regular guy and he is out at a local bar one night having a good time. Jack, the bartender and owner of the bar, offered him another drink and as he did Bob spoke up. ‘Hey Jack, … Continue reading
Help me get this human out of my ass
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “May I help you, sir?” The duck says, “Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass.”
A cheap dinner
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays. After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes
Tagged bar, beer, boss, food, sex, wife
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Not-stupid blondes
Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him … Continue reading
International beer syndrome
An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out. American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks the beer. Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer. … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Country Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged beer, British, Chinese, Indian, insect, USA
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Magic beer
So this guy walks into a bar and says, “Gve me two beers.” The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says, “Give me two more beers.” So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man … Continue reading
44 days
There was this bartender and he was working at the bar one night. In walked a group of blondes and they were chanting ”44 days! 44 days!” One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bar, bartender, blonde, puzzle
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Horse identification
A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “what’s the matter?” The fellow replies, “well I’ve got these two horses (sniff,sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Redneck Jokes
Tagged animal, bartender, drink, horse, redneck, tail
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Only when he’s drunk
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Car Jokes, Family Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged car, drink, husband, lamp, license, police, wife
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Beer and female hormones
“Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains large traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and … Continue reading
Naked pole vaulting
A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking girl and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother … Continue reading
Posted in Alabama Jokes, Alaska Jokes, American Jokes, Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, New York Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged bar, girl, nake, panties, pole, underwear
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Golden urinal
A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bar, drink, golden, husband, saxophone, urinal, wife
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You left your wheelchair at the bar again
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried … Continue reading
Pantyhose
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged ankles, fart, pantyhose, woman
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I just love the ballet
A woman wearing a tank-top sits down at a bar and raises her hand to gain the bartender’s attention, exposing a tuft of underarm hair that had not seen a razor in months. The bartender, noticing the sickened look on … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged ballet, bar, drink, hair, leg, woman
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Texan baby
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. “WOW!” was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged baby, bar, circumcision, drink, Texas
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Open a beer
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.
Posted in Bar Jokes, Restaurant Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged beer, man, waitress, woman
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Pig in the bar
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ”Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?” Then the lady answered, ”Excuse me, I think this is a … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged bar, goose, pig, waiter, woman
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It’s an hour fast!
A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that’s a really fancy watch.” “Thanks, says the guy, “It’s the cutting … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bar, computer, drink, girl, man, panties, technology, watch
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