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Category Archives: Office Jokes
Pull over in highway

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged car, deaf, highway, horn, police, woman
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Sex with parrot

One day there was a teenage punk-rock boy who decided to go to the local shopping mall. He had just about the craziest hair-do you could imagine. His hair was spiked into chunks all over his head, and each spike … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged boy, drink, hair, parrot, sex, son, teenage
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Black eyes

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. “What happened, my child?” “I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged choir, eye, girl, guy, priest, punch, wedgie
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What did the chicken do?

There’s this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he’s a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, polite, conservative … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged chicken, parrot, refrigerator, sailor, vocabulary
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Ned: the most popular man in the world

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged pope, popular, president, queen, restaurant
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Real job application

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald’s. They hired him. NAME – Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION – Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Office Jokes, Restaurant Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged application, employment, job, McDonald's
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Einsteinism

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged Albert Einstein, chauffeur, dinner, professor, question, speech
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Top ten… sleeping at desk

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged excuse, office, sleep, top 10 list
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I was delivering this bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bridge, car, delivery, driving, police, truck
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From beautiful to cute

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged hospital, lawyer, surgery, wife
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Carpenter

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged blonde, carpenter, ear, pencil, saw, street, window
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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bug, computer, girl friend, husband, mistress, popup, resource, upgrade, wife
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Blondes with a convertible

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged blonde, car, convertible, key, lock, rain, woman
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What I want in a man

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover. What … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged man, romance, sex, toilet, wish, wish list, woman
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Who lands first?

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged blonde, brunette, building, direction, jump, landing
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Grandma’s peanuts

A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him. While he’s talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finished them off. As they’re leaving, his friend says … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged denture, grandma, peanut, teeth
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Pretend we’re married

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on … Continue reading
Posted in Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged blanket, man, marriage, sleep, train, woman
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Drink by date on the bottom

A man notices a blonde sucking on the bottom of a Coke can. Curious, he asks her what she’s doing. “Duh! It says for best taste drink by date on the bottom.”
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged blonde, can, coke, drink, taste
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Watch out for the wall

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged casket, ceremony, funeral, husband, wife
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The engineer’s love life
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said, “I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged architect, artist, engineer, job, lab, mistress, wife
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