Category Archives: Office Jokes

funny jokes on work, on office life

Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

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Sex with parrot

funny-hairdo-mouth-eyes-nose

One day there was a teenage punk-rock boy who decided to go to the local shopping mall. He had just about the craziest hair-do you could imagine. His hair was spiked into chunks all over his head, and each spike … Continue reading

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Black eyes

camera-woman-checking-skirts

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. “What happened, my child?” “I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me … Continue reading

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What did the chicken do?

crazy-guy-checking-girls-breast

There’s this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he’s a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, polite, conservative … Continue reading

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Ned: the most popular man in the world

bikini-girls-club

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading

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Real job application

man

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald’s. They hired him. NAME – Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION – Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying … Continue reading

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Einsteinism

book-bathtub

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of … Continue reading

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Top ten… sleeping at desk

funny-obama

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading

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I was delivering this bridge

funny-blind-driving

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars … Continue reading

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From beautiful to cute

funny-shirt-couple-his-and-hers

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had … Continue reading

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Carpenter

funny-tattoo-eyes

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called … Continue reading

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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

new-york-giants-fan-showning-buttocks-and-ball

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading

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Blondes with a convertible

car-crash-photo

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in … Continue reading

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What I want in a man

old-man-and-juicy-boobs

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover. What … Continue reading

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Who lands first?

i-am-not-virgin

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.  

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Grandma’s peanuts

funny-poster-kick-your-ass

A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him. While he’s talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finished them off. As they’re leaving, his friend says … Continue reading

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Pretend we’re married

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on … Continue reading

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Drink by date on the bottom

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

A man notices a blonde sucking on the bottom of a Coke can. Curious, he asks her what she’s doing. “Duh! It says for best taste drink by date on the bottom.”

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Watch out for the wall

woman is less important than  bicycles!

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading

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The engineer’s love life

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said, “I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The … Continue reading

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