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Tag Archives: priest
The engineer at the golf course
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” “Ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes
Tagged blind, doctor, engineer, golf, priest
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Priests on a Hawaiian vacation
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged beach, bikini, priest, woman
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Who’s he going to tell?
One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won’t be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes
Tagged God, golf, priest, St. Peter
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We judge on results
A minister has just died and is standing in line waiting to be judged and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him about himself. The man says, “I am a taxi driver from Noo … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged driver, God, heaven, priest, taxi
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Do I have to tell him the war is over?
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Country Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged priest, refugee, sin, WWII
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She made me a better offer
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bride, groom, marriage, money, priest, vow
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God is missing
Two 6 year old boys were attending religious school and giving the teachers problems. The teachers had tried everything to make them behave – time outs, notes home, missed recesses – but could do nothing with them. Finally the boys … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged child, God, priest, school
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Where is the God?
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. They boys’ mother … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged boy, child, church, God, priest
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Black eyes
A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. “What happened, my child?” “I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged choir, eye, girl, guy, priest, punch, wedgie
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Goddamn it
A man was working on a preacher’s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped. He yelled “Goddamn it” and the preacher said, “Don’t take the Lord’s name … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged car, God, lord, man, priest
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Sexes of parrots
A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged animal, old lady, parrot, pet, priest, sex, shop, woman
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Prayers
A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They only know how to … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged parrot, pray, priest
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The head hog
A man called the church office one day and said, “Can I please speak to the head hog at the trough?” The secretary, highly offended, said, “If you mean the pastor, then you may refer to him as ’Pastor’ or … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged donation, priest, secretary
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Five good leads
Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the woman … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged priest, sex, woman
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Long sermon
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone. … Continue reading
