Tag Archives: employment

New rules for employment

How to annoy your co-workers

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as … Continue reading

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No nuts is an advantage

mans-problem-in-emergency

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, “Do you have any military experience?” The Marine replied, “Why, yes! I’ve been in the … Continue reading

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Performance evaluations

terrosists-in-beach

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a … Continue reading

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Recruiting

skyy-vodka-how-to-get-woman

A highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get … Continue reading

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FBI interview

boob-vision

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, ”To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next … Continue reading

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Real job application

man

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald’s. They hired him. NAME – Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION – Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying … Continue reading

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Blonde lumberjack

sexy-girl-hugs-for-25cents

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. “Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at … Continue reading

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Employee of the month

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) ”Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.” (2) ”His men would follow him anywhere, ……. but … Continue reading

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Blonde looking for a job

funny-wrong-job-ice-cream-maker

A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED. ”Yes.”

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The lumberjack

funny-scene-big-penis

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The … Continue reading

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Bilingual dog

funny-horny-dog

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. “Well,” says the personnel director, “You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.” Sitting down at the typewriter, the … Continue reading

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A job interview

funny-blonde-parking

Gary wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: “What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading … Continue reading

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Silly lines

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I … Continue reading

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