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Category Archives: Your Momma Jokes
Woman’s age
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged age, cosmetics, hair, husband, mirror, skin, wife, woman
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Life pattern
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged Adam, apple, child, Eve, God
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Mother in law
A man’s house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets is daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged dog, fire, man, mother-in-law, son, wife
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10 things your mom would never say to you
10. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 9. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 8. Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week. 7. Go ahead and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged kid, mother, top 10 list
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Charming
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged child, gift, husband, Mississippi, Texas, wife
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The latest version of the Internet
Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?” Tech Support: “Yeah.” Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?” Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”
Posted in Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Short Q & A, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged internet, tech support
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Screw or twist
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby’s a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue’s father answers and … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged boy, date, father, girl, sex, twist
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They won’t let you fart
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged chair, fart, mother, nurse
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Black and white in weddings
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The … Continue reading
Posted in Kids Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged bride, marriage
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What kind of boy did your daughter marry?
Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, “What kind of boy did your daughter marry?” “Oh, he’s wonderful,” gushed the mother. “He lets her sleep late, ants her … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged daughter, marriage, mother, son
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Below your left breast
Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged breast, heart, knee, suicide
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B.C.
A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, and elegant was planning a week’s vacation in Florida so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged camping, church, toilet
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Let me hold your monkey
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged bus, driver, monkey, mother
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Honeymoon spaghetti
Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary’s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, “Waiter! Waiter! Come over … Continue reading
Register wedding gifts
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged drug, gift, marriage
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the secret of success in marriage
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged child, husband, lesson, marriage, wife
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Expensive perfume
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, ”Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very … Continue reading
Posted in New York Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged fart, lift, perfume, woman
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Never lie to your mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but noticing how beautiful John’s room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his room-mate, and this had … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, France and French Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged bed, dinner, ladle, lie, mother, roommate, sleep
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