Tag Archives: driving

Translating male phrases

wine-baby-feeding

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.” Really means…. “There is no … Continue reading

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Blonde and police car

car-crash-photo

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s … Continue reading

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Getting out of mud

sexy-teacher-get-attentions-from-all-young-football-players

Two guys were attending a party in the woods, when all of a sudden, the skies opened up and rained torrents on everybody. They ran for their car, jumped in, and gunned it. They were going pretty fast when an … Continue reading

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Where is this place?

state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more … Continue reading

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Driver answers

funny-man-just-want-to-pee

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license … Continue reading

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Bumper stickers: X-rated

how-ladies-use-laptop

Constipated people don’t give a shit. Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself. If you drink don’t park, accidents cause people. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. Please tell … Continue reading

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I was delivering this bridge

funny-blind-driving

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars … Continue reading

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Sleepy trucker

ass-symbols

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me … Continue reading

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Blonde’s sheep

funny-photobomb-beauty-and-buttocks

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you … Continue reading

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Blonde driving

funny-3d-tv

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving really badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, ”Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?” The blonde said, ”I’m … Continue reading

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The tomato family

funny-pose-feel-the-breast

The Tomato family is walking down the street. There’s the mama tomato, the papa tomato and baby tomato. They’re walking at a good pace when the baby starts lagging behind. Papa tomato starts getting mad. By the third block papa … Continue reading

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Designated decoy

drunken-sleeping-girls-i-want-more

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, waiting for a bust. At closing time, everyone came out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking … Continue reading

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Road sign for Disneyand

funny-car-toys

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland Left.” So they went home.

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Best excuse for speeding

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped … Continue reading

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That’s my dog

funny-bush-picking-up-phone

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm.She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you have … Continue reading

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Blonde and Cop

funny-blonde-parking

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. ”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next … Continue reading

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