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Category Archives: Science Jokes
Indian weather prediction
It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the … Continue reading
Posted in Country Jokes, Office Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged Indian, weather, winter, wood
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Mr. or Mrs. Computer?
Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes”, or”She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged computer, female, male
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Top 10 blonde science fair projects
10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous? 9) Is lighter fluid flammable? 8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff? 7) Are knives sharp? 6) Can sharks hurt a human? 5) What happens if I stick my hand … Continue reading
Is hell exothermic or endothermic?
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam for May of 1997 consisted of only one question. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II … Continue reading
Why do men sit with their legs wide open?
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged brain, man
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Tonto Kawalski
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, … Continue reading
Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged airplane, penis, Poland, sex, woman
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Mechanical engineers vs. civil enginners
If XXX made toasters
If Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away and … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged computer, HP, IBM, Microsoft, Oracle, software, toaster
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A few philisophical statements, not pickup lines
Always take the time to smell the roses… and sooner or later you’ll inhale a bee. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek… nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. If genius is 1% … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Science Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged car, eagle, genius, philosophy, rose
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Job interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for. “In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Campus Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged car, engineer, interview, MIT, money, salary
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Horse’s ass
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Office Jokes, Politician Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged ass, horse, railroad, standard
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Journey to the other side
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged businessman, email, hotel, husband, preacher, trip, wife
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Mathematics
He’s teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, ”Now that’s addition.” And as he added smack by smack, in silent sanctification, she sweetly gave the kisses back and … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged boy, child, division, girl, kiss, math
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Chemistry men & women
Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable … Continue reading
Posted in Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged chemistry, man, physical, properties, woman
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Camping night
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. ”Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, ”I … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged camp, sky, star, tent
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Ticket please
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on … Continue reading
Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged accountant, engineer, ticket, toilet, train
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The three astronauts
Once upon a time NASA decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American … Continue reading
Posted in Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged astronaut, baby, British, cigarette, NASA, Russian, sex, USA, wife
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Chemical formula for water
Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny replies, “HIJKLMNO”!! The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on Earth are you talking about?” Little Johnny replies, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”
Posted in Campus Jokes, Kids Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged campus, chemistry, child, school, science, water
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