Double for mother-in-law

Posted on September 1, 2011 by JokesLab
dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."

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Guessing

Posted on September 1, 2011 by JokesLab
funny details of a model, breast only

Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating. "Is is beef?" The daughter Katie asked. "Nope." "Is it pork?" ...

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To feel like a woman

Posted on August 31, 2011 by JokesLab
funny blow job

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I’m too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, ...

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Future Irish mother-in-law

Posted on August 30, 2011 by JokesLab
horse face and a lady

This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says: "Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you just try and guess which one I’m going to marry." The mother agrees, so the next day he brings along ...

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I would have gotten out today

Posted on August 29, 2011 by JokesLab
man-and-woman-before-marriage

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a ...

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A reasonable wife

Posted on August 29, 2011 by JokesLab
funny sign keep this area clean

After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, "Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a 13 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a ...

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How to please a woman?

Posted on August 26, 2011 by JokesLab
happy-time-for-girls-and-funny-guy

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works... "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and ...

Posted in Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged , | 1 Comment

A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician

Posted on August 26, 2011 by JokesLab
funny condom ad, protect yourself from fire

A Physicist, an Engineer, and a Mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings. The Physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives. The Engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will ...

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The magic mirror

Posted on August 26, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-When-you-drink-too-much-all-woman-becomes-sexy

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror. If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never ...

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A sign of the times

Posted on August 17, 2011 by JokesLab
finally signoff icq in the grave

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn’t you get my E-mail?"  

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Four sons

Posted on August 17, 2011 by JokesLab
how-to-cut-a-queue

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enough that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I'm so proud of my son. ...

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The Manager’s Problem

Posted on August 12, 2011 by JokesLab
obama enjoying the blow job

An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee ...

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Tips for success in office

Posted on August 12, 2011 by JokesLab
hair style to sleep in office

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they’re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make ...

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A job interview

Posted on August 12, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-blonde-parking

Gary wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Gary says, "I would switch the points for one ...

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The ritual

Posted on August 12, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-and-sexy-Advertisements-ford-car

A woman is preparing Sunday dinner, as she has always done since she got married. Every Sunday they have boiled chicken and her daughter, now a teenager, is entrusted to assist. "Mum," her daughter asks, "why do you use two pots and put half a chicken in each one?" "It’s how my mother always did it dear," says ...

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Child Custody

Posted on August 7, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-dad-carrying-baby-in-train

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked ...

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Helicopter Lessons

Posted on August 7, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-tear-off-my-number in the skirt

A blonde received a certificate for helicopter flying lessons for her birthday. One day she was bored and decided to take advantage of the opportunity. When she arrived at the place, the man said "Well, there's only one helicopter here, and it only has one seat, if I show you how to do it, do you ...

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Top ten things that sound dirty in law but aren’t

Posted on August 7, 2011 by JokesLab
funny-graduate-girls, sexy photo

10. Have you looked through her briefs? 9. He's one hard judge! 8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers. 7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute. 6. Is it a penal offense? 5. Better leave the handcuffs on. 4. For $200 an hour, she better be good! 3. Can you get him to drop his suit? 2. The judge gave her the ...

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Tale of the two dead boys

Posted on August 7, 2011 by JokesLab

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight, Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the ...

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God is doing a better job now

Posted on August 7, 2011 by JokesLab

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ...

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes | Tagged , | 1 Comment