Tag Archives: Santa

Cannot go up the chimney

Cannot go up the chimney

Santa is putting presents by the tree when he hears a woman’s voice say “Santa will you please come sit with me?” Santa turns and sees a beautiful woman sitting on her couch in a very sexy gown. Santa says … Continue reading

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Santa Claus and Bubba Claus

funny-shopping-bag-watermelon

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming … Continue reading

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Devil in the church

Jennifer-Lawrence-Oscars-fuck-you-photo

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan … Continue reading

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Blonde, Santa, Pregnant Woman

women-are-not-for-decoration

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up ? A: The pregnant woman… the other two aren’t real !’

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Today you are staff

safety-driving-school

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading

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Santa, tooth fairy, drunk, and lawyer

funny-headstone-stupid-and-with-stupid

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are … Continue reading

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Tail Light on Bike

funny-dog-and-puppet

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring that to … Continue reading

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A sign of the times

finally signoff  icq in the grave

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”  

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