Category Archives: Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes

this is hot jokes on man and woman, all aspects

Modern science

boobs-and-ballons-which is the choice for a boy?

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90% — wedding cake!

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Pretend we’re married

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on … Continue reading

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Watch out for the wall

woman is less important than  bicycles!

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading

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The engineer’s love life

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said, “I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The … Continue reading

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If men ruled the world

so-many-cctvs

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your … Continue reading

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Men and Women

funny-gorilla

I’M GLAD I’M A MAN I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe; I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts; I can get where … Continue reading

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Hold this stuff for a while

your-third-shoes-king-size-condom

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says: ”I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says, ”WHAT??” The wife explains … Continue reading

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Rejected

terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading

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Why women wear white on their wedding day?

high-heel-yoga-girl-reading

Why do women wear white on their wedding day? All major kitchen appliances come in white.

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Guess who?

the-best-place-for-fishing

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ”Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and … Continue reading

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It’s an hour fast!

funny-comoputer

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that’s a really fancy watch.” “Thanks, says the guy, “It’s the cutting … Continue reading

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After all, I was married to her for 40 years

photobomb-hairy-belly

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the … Continue reading

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Heal, not raise the dead

funny-gay-monkeys

An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it’s soon time for the healing portion of the show. “If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on … Continue reading

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Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered

funny-horse-ride-dog

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. ”Well, now,” says the … Continue reading

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A free wonderful weekend

funny-guy-with-sexy-game-girl

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. … Continue reading

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Husband detector

funny-poster-kick-your-ass

What do you call a women who knows where her husband is each night? A widow

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Adam, Eve, and God

funny-petition-gay-marriage-killed-the-dinosaurs

“God,” said Adam, “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?” “So you would love her.” “But why did you make her so dumb?” “So she would love you.”

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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Ready to go home

funny-erection-in-progress

There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This … Continue reading

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The blonde makeout

funny-erection-due-to-two-girls

A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner and a movie, they head on up to Makeout Mountain, where things get a little hot ‘n’ heavy. Then the guy leans over. “Do you want to go … Continue reading

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