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Category Archives: Bar Jokes
Jokes in the bar
Got any grapes?
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any … Continue reading →
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes
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Tagged animal, bar, duck, grape, nail, waiter
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Ready to go home
There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
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Tagged bar, beer, home, husband, photo, wife
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Drinking buddies
Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So where are you from, then?” “I’m from Ireland.” … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, British Jokes, Family Jokes, New York Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
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Tagged bar, beer, drink, Irish, New York
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Cheese mine
The taco Bell chihuahua dog, a doberman, and a bulldog all walk into a bar. A female collie then walks in.The collie says, ”Whoever can say liver and cheese the most creativly, can have me.” So the bulldog goes ”I … Continue reading →
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
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Tagged bar, bulldog, chihuahua, collie, doberman, dog, sex
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Designated decoy
A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, waiting for a bust. At closing time, everyone came out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Car Jokes, Police Jokes
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Tagged car, decoy, drink, driving, police
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Talking penguin
A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich and a pint! The bartender is astounded by this talking flightless bird and asks about his life. The penguin goes on to explain that he is working at the … Continue reading →
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Office Jokes
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Tagged bar, circus, job, penguin, plasterer
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Party talk
A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”
Posted in Bar Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes
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Tagged drink, husband, man, party, poison, wife, woman
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Time to go home
Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day’s work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked … Continue reading →
bartender is better than psychiatrist
Jackson went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Hospital Jokes, People Jokes
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Tagged bar, bartender, bed, doctor, hospital, psychiatrist
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Lip gloss
An old Texan cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy … Continue reading →
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Texas Jokes
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Tagged animal, ass, bar, cowboy, horse, kiss, lip, Texas
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Fast turtle
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender looks … Continue reading →
Black magic man
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
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Tagged argument, bar, casket, funeral, husband, magic, man, marriage, wife, woman
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How much should I drink?
A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes
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Tagged bar, beer, home, wife
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French definition of Savoir-faire
Three Frenchmen were trying to define savoir-faire. “If I go home,” said Alphonse, “and find my wife with another man, say ’Excuse me’ and leave, that is savoir-faire.” “No,” replied Pierre, “if I go home and find my wife with … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Country Jokes, France and French Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
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Tagged bar, French, sex, wife
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How was your date last night, Billy?
“How was your date last night, Billy?” his friend asked. “Fabulous. We went to the concert, had a bite to eat, and then we drove around for a while until I found a nice dark spot to park. I asked … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Car Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
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Tagged bar, car, concert, date, kiss, woman
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Country-club party
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes
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Tagged bank, club, girl, man, marriage, money, party
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Cowboy Joe
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
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Tagged car, church, cowboy, usher, woman
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Cowboy in the theater
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theater. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. … Continue reading →
Posted in Bar Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes
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Tagged balcony, cowboy, movie, police, seat, theater
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Bravest man
One day a multi-billionaire was board, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men. A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says “OK I’ve a deal you can’t refuse. Who can swim successfully across this … Continue reading →
The 7 dwarves
The 7 Dwarves are standing outside a convent. Then Happy goes and knocks on the door. A nun answers and says “Can I help you, my child?” Happy says “Are there any 3 foot nuns in this convent?” The nun … Continue reading →
Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
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Tagged animal, dwarf, nun, penguin, sex
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