Author Archives: JokesLab

Only in America

american-flag-model-bikini

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way … Continue reading

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Work for IRS

no-parking-volcano

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the shoulders of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?” … Continue reading

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Letter to God

funny-shit-slogan-i-dont-need-sex

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send … Continue reading

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Where is the God?

funny-boy-finding-food-in-refrigerator

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. They boys’ mother … Continue reading

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A military cargo plane

funny-boy-reading-playboy

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in … Continue reading

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A parrot on the plane

sex-education-she-may-look-clean-but

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, … Continue reading

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Good news and bad news

football babe

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, let me have the bad news first.” Doctor: “You have … Continue reading

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Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

Posted in Car Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

God will save him

secret-operation

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the … Continue reading

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Top 10 reasons for being an American

funny-pose-obama-enjoying-blow-job

1. You can have a woman president without electing her 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. 3. You can call Budweiser beer 4. You can be a crook and still be a president 5. If … Continue reading

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Bad dog

why-lie-i-need-a-cold-beer

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he … Continue reading

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Sharing

photo-bomb-beard-man-wedding

There was an elderly couple who went to McDonald’s. They ordered one cheeseburger, one large fry, one large drink, and an extra large soda. When the old couple sat down, the man sitting next to them watched the old man … Continue reading

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How to impress a woman, and a man

how-to-please-a-woman

1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug her. 5) Hold her. 6) Surprise her. 7) Compliment her. 8) Smile at her. 9) Laugh with her. 10) Cry with her 11) Cuddle with her. 12) Shop with … Continue reading

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when a lawyer is about to lie?

funny-beggar-need-cash-for-alcohol-research

How can you tell when a lawyer is about to lie? His lips start moving.

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The wishing well

photo-bomb-naked-man

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. … Continue reading

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Blood circulation

funny-kid-i-pad-diy

A lesson about blood flow and circulation. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, … Continue reading

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Drawing God

child-cheater-angry-child

A Kindergarten teacher was walking around the classroom observing the students while they were drawing. Stopping at the desk of one little girl who was working hard on her drawing, the teacher asked what the girl was drawing. The girl … Continue reading

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Sex with parrot

funny-hairdo-mouth-eyes-nose

One day there was a teenage punk-rock boy who decided to go to the local shopping mall. He had just about the craziest hair-do you could imagine. His hair was spiked into chunks all over his head, and each spike … Continue reading

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Black eyes

camera-woman-checking-skirts

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. “What happened, my child?” “I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me … Continue reading

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What did the chicken do?

crazy-guy-checking-girls-breast

There’s this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he’s a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, polite, conservative … Continue reading

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