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Author Archives: JokesLab
Stand in line for that too

During a busy Pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport, a crowded flight was cancelled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Country Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged airline, airport, Australia, Christmas, girl, queue, sex, ticket
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Father Christmas gift

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ’from Father Christmas.’ A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Holiday Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged child, Christmas, father, gift, mother
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Top ten things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…

10. Hey! Now there’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged Christmas, dog, gift, top 10 list
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Holding for ransom

Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of presents for Christmas. He knew that god had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray. “God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Christmas Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged Christmas, gift, God, kid
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Santa Claus and Bubba Claus

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully. I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming … Continue reading
Glad Ass, Happy Butt

It was this little girl’s first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher said, “Honey I don’t think that’s your name you need to go to the principal’s … Continue reading
Wal-Mart vs. heaven

I consider Wal-Mart to be God’s gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates Wal-Mart: Some old … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged God, heaven, Wal-Mart
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No nuts is an advantage

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked, “Do you have any military experience?” The Marine replied, “Why, yes! I’ve been in the … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged disability, employment, interview, job, marine, testicle, war
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Deleted characters

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC? ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Country Jokes, Office Jokes
Tagged computer, IBM, PC
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The engineer at the golf course

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” “Ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes
Tagged blind, doctor, engineer, golf, priest
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Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. … Continue reading
Great-uncle George

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged execution, prison
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An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps … Continue reading
Murphy’s laws of combat

If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming fire has the right of way Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire There is always a way That way is always mined Try to look unimportant; they might be low … Continue reading
Blonde in pain

There was a blonde who was hurting all over so she went to the doctor. The doctor said, ”Where are you hurting?” She said, ”Everywhere. See?” She touched her arm and said, “OUCH!” She touched her leg and, “OUCH!” She … Continue reading
The blue eye

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted in him getting his eye gouged out. He was rushed to hospital, and, after awaking from an emergency operation, was told by the doctor that he’d been given a … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged accident, car, eye, police
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Blonde father

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a … Continue reading



