Author Archives: JokesLab

Kiss your cheek

Kiss your cheek

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate … Continue reading

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Lawyers on the beach

Lawyers on the beach

How come you can’t find lawyers sunbathing on the beach? Cats keep covering them over with sand.

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Top 10 blonde science fair projects

Top 10 blonde science fair projects

10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous? 9) Is lighter fluid flammable? 8) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff? 7) Are knives sharp? 6) Can sharks hurt a human? 5) What happens if I stick my hand … Continue reading

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California lawyers

California lawyers

Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps while California has all the lawyers? Because New Jersey got first pick!!

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Fast food blondes

Fast food blondes

The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: “Parking for drive-through customers only!”

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Third question

what was your third question?

A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the rates. “Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”

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New rules for employment

How to annoy your co-workers

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as … Continue reading

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How to annoy your co-workers

How to annoy your co-workers

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don’t disguise your voice. 2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a … Continue reading

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Screw light bulb

Screw light bulb

How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The Bible makes no mention of light bulbs.

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10 things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren’t…

10 things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren’t...

10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.” 9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!” 8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!” 7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.” 6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!” … Continue reading

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English Jesus

1Why wasn

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Essex, England? Because they couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin!

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10 signs you are internet-addicted

10 signs you are internet-addicted

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your facebook on the way back to bed. 9) Your firstborn is named Dotcom. 8) You turn off your router and are suddenly filled with a … Continue reading

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A blonde’s Thanksgiving dinner

A blonde’s Thanksgiving dinner

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. “Oh, mother, I … Continue reading

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The difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist

The difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist

How can you tell the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Terrorists can be negotiated with.

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Closed for the winter

Closed for the winter, blonde couple

Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see ”Closed for the Winter”.

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Medical Miracles

Medical Miracles

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, “We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking … Continue reading

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Top 10 rejection lines for male and female

Top 10 rejection lines for male and female

10. I think of you as a brother.Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’ 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don’t want to do my dad. 8. I’m not attracted to you … Continue reading

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Burnt ears

blonde

A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened. “The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron.” “What about the other one?” “They called back.”

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Tee Shot

Tee Shot

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? … Continue reading

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Blonde in a car

Blonde in a car

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?” ”Why sure,” said … Continue reading

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