Author Archives: JokesLab

Whole wheat bread

funny-angry-man-and-happy-couple

Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, “Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!” Leon replies, “You’re kidding! I can’t even manage to do it once! What’s your … Continue reading

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A great surprise

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

A ret ired man went to a doctor for a general check-up. The doctor told the retiree that everything was fine and that, in fact, he was”in real good shape for a man of 93.” “That’s good to know because … Continue reading

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No undies

funny-dog-staring-at-thong-falling-woman

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” … Continue reading

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The Genie, Irish, English and Scottish

condom-ads-durex-xl

Three guys, one Irish, one English and one Scottish are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”,says the … Continue reading

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Would you remarry?

condom-ads-crosswords

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question…. * WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?” o HUSBAND: “Definitely not!” * … Continue reading

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Before and after marriage

reality-sucks

Before marriage: He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don’t even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! She: Have you ever cheated on … Continue reading

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Daytime television

funny-sale-sign-save-10

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. “Do you watch much television here?” “Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t … Continue reading

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Papa bear

funny-sleeping-baby

My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his … Continue reading

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Leek soup?

funny-and-sexy-ads-not-the-breast

Checking the menu, Nigel, a restaurant customer, ordered a bowl of soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called over to the waitress and said, ’It’s all … Continue reading

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Chocolate ice cream

customer-feedback-in-restaurant

A lady walked into a convenience store and asked the clerk for a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk told the lady “Miss, we are all out of chocolate ice cream.” The lady says “Oh, okay. Give me a … Continue reading

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Rosebuds

scooby-wow-sexy-girl

There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother. One night the granddaughter came bouncing down the stairs dressed to go out to a party wearing a see through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother told her to go … Continue reading

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An experiment

most-wanted-valentines-day-gift

A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine’s Day night and sees a beautiful woman at the bar. After a long struggle with his shyness, he finally managed to walk over to her and asked her politely,”Um, would … Continue reading

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Just three words

funny-and-creative-bra-designs-japan

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub in a Valentine’s day night. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked … Continue reading

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Adam and Eve

save-a-virgin-do-me-instead

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate. “Eve, honey, you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel … Continue reading

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Valentine’s day dream

photo-bomb-horse-face

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight.” he said. … Continue reading

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To my one and only love

valentine-day-gift-condom

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ’Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ … Continue reading

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Too smart

bad-kid-drinking-smoking

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Johnny what is your problem?” Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than … Continue reading

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Final exam

i-enjoy-masterbating

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a … Continue reading

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The Chinese virgins

funny-photo-in-china

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He … Continue reading

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A Spielberg joke

funny-pose-fucked-by-the-bishop

A Chinese walks into a bar in America one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap … Continue reading

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