Category Archives: Police Jokes

Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention

woman enjoying mens-underwear

80,000 blondes are gathered for a Blondes Are Not Stupid convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way … Continue reading

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I’ll just wait on the cops

I

A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe. ”Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a … Continue reading

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Rate your Chrsitmas party

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

Next time, make sure your party reaches the correct “Festivity Level….” Festivity Level One: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling on … Continue reading

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The blue eye

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted in him getting his eye gouged out. He was rushed to hospital, and, after awaking from an emergency operation, was told by the doctor that he’d been given a … Continue reading

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Safety competition award

Funny-expressway-parking-only-seen-in-USA

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. ”What are you going to do with the prize money?” the officer asked. … Continue reading

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I’m just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass

dreams-of-animals-how-to-shit-on-human

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street. All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting … Continue reading

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FBI will do it for you

shit-slogan-fbi-female-body-inspector

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Allen, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his … Continue reading

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Pope in New York

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, ”You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?” … Continue reading

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Only when he’s drunk

safety-driving-school

John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading

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It’s the law

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

The following are laws from around the world which, though a bit unusual, aren’t really that surprising…. : 1) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with … Continue reading

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the Pope is his driver

funny condom ad, endrosed by the Pope

One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea. “Driver? Can I drive for a while?” “Sure,” says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope? So the … Continue reading

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Blonde on the run

perfect-buttocks

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately … Continue reading

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Blonde riding

blonde-car

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, ” do ya see any cops following us?” The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, … Continue reading

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FBI interview

boob-vision

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, ”To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next … Continue reading

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Blondes robbing a bank

how-to-kiss-a-drunken-girl

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail. The robbery begins. Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops … Continue reading

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Blonde and police car

car-crash-photo

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s … Continue reading

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Interstate 22

Funny-expressway-parking-only-seen-in-USA

There is an old lady driving on Interstate 22. A police car pulls her over and explains to the lady she is going 22 mph. She said ”I know, isn’t that the speed limit? ” The officer said, ”No, this … Continue reading

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Stop sign

state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied. “You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained. “But … Continue reading

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Nudist camp and police

mans-dream-job-cream-woman-buttocks

Somebody recent vandalized the local nudist camp. They put a hole in the wall, and the police are currently looking into it.

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Prison vs. Work

hairdo-for-sleeping-in-office-or-class

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8′ X 10′ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6′ X 8′ cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you … Continue reading

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