Category Archives: Police Jokes

Driver answers

funny-man-just-want-to-pee

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can’t see my license … Continue reading

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Old whore

funny-photo-woman-and-pooping-dog

A whorehouse gets busted. The girls are lined up out front, and a cop is going down the line giving them all tickets. A little, old lady approaches one of the girls at the end of the line and asks, … Continue reading

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Good news and bad news

football babe

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, let me have the bad news first.” Doctor: “You have … Continue reading

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Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

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The FBI, CIA, LAPD, and some rabbits

dog-photo-and-cat-bomb

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has … Continue reading

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I was delivering this bridge

funny-blind-driving

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” He tries to turn off but, before he knows it, the bridge is right there and he gets stuck under it. Cars … Continue reading

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Blonde suicide

preparing-his-gun

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. “How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “Trying to commit suicide by shooting … Continue reading

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Blonde driving

funny-3d-tv

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving really badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, ”Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?” The blonde said, ”I’m … Continue reading

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Blonde vs. Crime Rate

i-am-not-virgin-shit-slogan-my-dad-thinks-i-am-a-virgin

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home? A: She moved.

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We are on the patch

funny-and-sexy-ads-swallowing-sperm

Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging a few beers when they see a road block ahead with police checking for drunk drivers. The blonde in the passenger seat starts to panic and the driver tells her to calm … Continue reading

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Mexican smuggler

funny-shopping-bag-watermelon

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that get … Continue reading

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Reflections

funny-shark-design-building

1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take … Continue reading

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Designated decoy

drunken-sleeping-girls-i-want-more

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, waiting for a bust. At closing time, everyone came out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking … Continue reading

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Emergency brake

funny-bicycle-for-couple

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am,” said the cop, “I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. … Continue reading

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Shoot the pig

sexy-police-girls-policewoman

A farmhand is driving ’round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my … Continue reading

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Best excuse for speeding

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped … Continue reading

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How are you feeling?

why-dog-is-better-than-boy-friend

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene … Continue reading

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Blonde kidnapper

funny-play-boy-cover-girl

Once upon a time when a Blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day she goes to a nearby playground and when nobody is looking, she pulls a random kid behind a … Continue reading

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Bilingual dog

funny-horny-dog

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. “Well,” says the personnel director, “You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.” Sitting down at the typewriter, the … Continue reading

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Three blondes changing a light bulb

funny-pose-group-sex-girls

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonder: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonder: Yes. Operator: And the … Continue reading

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