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Tag Archives: husband
Ready to go home
There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This … Continue reading
Posted in Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bar, beer, home, husband, photo, wife
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Why do wives live longer ?
Why do wives live longer than their husbands? Because they aren’t married to women!
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged family, husband, life, man, marriage, wife, woman
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The wrong marriage
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”
Posted in People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged finger, husband, marriage, ring, woman
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Beard
A woman complains to her friend that her husband is losing interest in sex, and he prefers nights out with the guys to the joys of copulation. Her friend tells her that to win his love, she must make more … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged beard, bed, dinner, husband, leg, mirror, sex, underwear, wife
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Go get your mother
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a near-by mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked his Father, ”What … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged Amish, child, elevator, husband, lift, wife, woman
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Waiting for autumn
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, “What are … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Office Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged art, autumn, husband, leaf, nude, paint, wife
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How do you like that?
A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the … Continue reading
Posted in Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged baby, delivery, doctor, father, husband, sex, woman
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Surprise
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in … Continue reading
Posted in Birthday Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bean, birthday, dinner, fart, guest, husband, surprise, telephone, wife
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Reflections
1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Police Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged dog, door, husband, lock, philosophy, reflection, shape, top 10 list, wife, window
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Blonde painting- two coats
A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart. While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged blonde, coat, husband, living room, paint, wife
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Toy cars and breastices
What do women’s breasts and toy cars have in common? They’re meant for kids but dads end up playing with both!
Posted in Car Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged breast, car, child, father, husband, mother
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Emergency brake
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am,” said the cop, “I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged Amish, brake, horse and buggy, husband, police, wife
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Party talk
A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”
Posted in Bar Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Restaurant Jokes
Tagged drink, husband, man, party, poison, wife, woman
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Fishing?
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, “Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Sports Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged fishing, husband, pajamas, travel, wife
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Compliments
Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal. “Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Restaurant Jokes
Tagged bacon, ham, honey, husband, pig, restaurant, sugar, wife
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Time to go home
Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day’s work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked … Continue reading
Just get the hell out!
A wife comes in and yells, ”Honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!” Her husband yells back, ”Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?” The wife replies, ”I don’t care! Just get the hell out!”
Posted in Family Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged beach, husband, lottery, money, mountain, wife
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Bad luck
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to,he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bed, coma, death, hospital, husband, luck, wife
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Best excuse for speeding
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Police Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged car, driving, husband, Mercedes, police, speeding, wife
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What is it?
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up … Continue reading
Posted in Family Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged birth, child, husband, living room, marriage, wife
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