Tag Archives: husband

Ready to go home

funny-erection-in-progress

There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. Which he chugged, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer. This … Continue reading

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Why do wives live longer ?

funny-feminist-shoes-naked-man-as-heel

Why do wives live longer than their husbands? Because they aren’t married to women!

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The wrong marriage

hilarious-weird-and-sexy-t-shirts-design-rate-my-breast

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

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Beard

funny-man-in-thong-in-beach

A woman complains to her friend that her husband is losing interest in sex, and he prefers nights out with the guys to the joys of copulation. Her friend tells her that to win his love, she must make more … Continue reading

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Go get your mother

funny-scene-big-john

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a near-by mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked his Father, ”What … Continue reading

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Waiting for autumn

funny-model-i-kick-your-ass

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, “What are … Continue reading

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How do you like that?

funny-blow-job

A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the … Continue reading

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Surprise

photo-bomb-naked-man

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in … Continue reading

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Reflections

funny-shark-design-building

1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take … Continue reading

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Blonde painting- two coats

funny-photo-woman-and-pooping-dog

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart. While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day … Continue reading

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Toy cars and breastices

porn-snow-man

What do women’s breasts and toy cars have in common? They’re meant for kids but dads end up playing with both!

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Emergency brake

funny-bicycle-for-couple

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am,” said the cop, “I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. … Continue reading

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Party talk

funny-photo-couple-in-beach

A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.” The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”

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Fishing?

cheater-one-man-with-two-women

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, “Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack … Continue reading

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Compliments

yard-sign-cheating-husband

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal. “Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the … Continue reading

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Time to go home

sex-education-she-may-look-clean-but

Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day’s work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked … Continue reading

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Just get the hell out!

why-hooker-is-better-than-wife

A wife comes in and yells, ”Honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!” Her husband yells back, ”Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?” The wife replies, ”I don’t care! Just get the hell out!”

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Bad luck

funny-and-sexy-ads-mens-dream

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to,he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he … Continue reading

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Best excuse for speeding

dude-you-will-get-three-mother-in-laws

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped … Continue reading

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What is it?

funny-wedding-animal-legs

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up … Continue reading

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