Tag Archives: husband

Where is this place?

state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more … Continue reading

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Email error

funny-curious-dolphin

It’s wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business … Continue reading

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What is it?

funny-wedding-cake-you-cannot-run-away

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, … Continue reading

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The advantages of being a doctor

funny-pose-touch-my-breast

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “A doctor?” “And why’s that?” “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

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Little sister

funny-condom-ads-durex-play-o-gel

One day a little boy walked in his parents room and saw them having sex. The boy’s father said that him and mom are making a little sister for him. So the next day the dad came home from work … Continue reading

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Sharing

photo-bomb-beard-man-wedding

There was an elderly couple who went to McDonald’s. They ordered one cheeseburger, one large fry, one large drink, and an extra large soda. When the old couple sat down, the man sitting next to them watched the old man … Continue reading

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The wishing well

photo-bomb-naked-man

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. … Continue reading

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How to keep your husband at home?

shooting-girl

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late? Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, ‘Mike, is that you?’ Wife #1: But I still don’t understand. … Continue reading

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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

new-york-giants-fan-showning-buttocks-and-ball

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading

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Grounds for divorce

funny-girl-reject-christ-receive-bacon

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property.” “I mean,” he continued, “What are your … Continue reading

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Watch out for the wall

woman is less important than  bicycles!

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. … Continue reading

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Hold this stuff for a while

your-third-shoes-king-size-condom

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says: ”I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says, ”WHAT??” The wife explains … Continue reading

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Rejected

terrosists-in-beach

These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, “I can’t let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.” Dejected, he turned and … Continue reading

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After all, I was married to her for 40 years

photobomb-hairy-belly

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the … Continue reading

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Heal, not raise the dead

funny-gay-monkeys

An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it’s soon time for the healing portion of the show. “If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on … Continue reading

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Ten dollars is ten dollars

funny-toilet-sign-little-red-hood-and-wolf

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, ”Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Martha would say, ”I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs … Continue reading

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A free wonderful weekend

funny-guy-with-sexy-game-girl

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. … Continue reading

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Husband detector

funny-poster-kick-your-ass

What do you call a women who knows where her husband is each night? A widow

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Difference between men and women

funny-man-with-two-girls

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never … Continue reading

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Singing parrot

funny-wrong-job-music-player

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot. ”It’s beautiful!” cried the man, ”Does … Continue reading

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