JokesLab Funniest Jokes

Dead bird

Posted on May 16, 2012 by JokesLab

drunken-sleeping-girls-sleep-in-toilet-sexy-pose

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street when the brunette says, “Look, a dead bird!” So the blonde looks up!

Posted in Animal Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged bird, blonde, street | Leave a comment

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back ...

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged blonde, car, mileage, odometer | Leave a comment

Blonde submarine

Posted on May 15, 2012 by JokesLab

sexy-girls-big-breast-hide-some-keys-in-keyboard

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged blonde, door, submarine | Leave a comment

Pig in the bar

Posted on May 14, 2012 by JokesLab

funny-motorbike--first-world-lady-and-third-world-goat

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?'' Then the lady answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.'' And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''

Posted in Bar Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged bar, goose, pig, waiter, woman | Leave a comment

Do Not Disturb

Posted on May 14, 2012 by JokesLab

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess ...

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged airplane, blonde, captain, crew, flight attendant, hotel, pilot, room | Leave a comment

Replacing Vanna

Posted on May 13, 2012 by JokesLab

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White? A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged alphabet, blonde, Vanna White, Word | Leave a comment

Blondes in the mirror

Posted on May 12, 2012 by JokesLab

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror. She picks it up, looks at it. ''WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person before.'' The other blonde takes the mirror and looks at it. ''Of course you do. That's me.'''

Posted in American Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged blonde, mirror, street | Leave a comment

Blonde driving

Posted on May 11, 2012 by JokesLab

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving really badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, ''Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?'' The blonde said, ''I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't ...

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Office Jokes, Police Jokes | Tagged air freshener, blonde, car, driving, highway, police, tree | Leave a comment

It’s an hour fast!

Posted on May 11, 2012 by JokesLab

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that's a really fancy watch.” “Thanks, says the guy, “It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll ...

Posted in Bar Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes | Tagged bar, computer, drink, girl, man, panties, technology, watch | Leave a comment

Alligator shoes

Posted on May 10, 2012 by JokesLab

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll ...

Posted in Animal Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Louisiana Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged alligator, blonde, crocodile, gun, Louisiana, shoes, shop | Leave a comment

Blonde vs. Crime Rate

Posted on May 9, 2012 by JokesLab

i-am-not-virgin-shit-slogan-my-dad-thinks-i-am-a-virgin

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home? A: She moved.

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Police Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged blonde, crime, home | Leave a comment

After all, I was married to her for 40 years

Posted on May 9, 2012 by JokesLab

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy ...

Posted in Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Sports Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged boat, bridge, fishing, funeral, husband, marriage, river, wife | Leave a comment

Animals and fridge!

Posted on May 8, 2012 by JokesLab

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. 2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the ...

Posted in Animal Jokes, Kids Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged animal, crocodile, elephant, giraffe, lion, meeting, refrigerator, river, swim | Leave a comment

Got any grapes?

Posted on May 7, 2012 by JokesLab

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, ...

Posted in Animal Jokes, Bar Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes | Tagged animal, bar, duck, grape, nail, waiter | Leave a comment

Cat scan

Posted on May 7, 2012 by JokesLab

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the ...

Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Veterinarian Jokes, Your Momma Jokes | Tagged animal, bed, bill, cat, dog, sleep, Veterinarian, woman | Leave a comment

M.A.R.I.N.E.

Posted on May 6, 2012 by JokesLab

funny-guy-studying-woman-thong-underwear

What does marine stand for? Muscles are required, intellegence not expected.

Posted in Office Jokes, Short Q & A | Tagged brain, marine, muscle | Leave a comment

Bill Gates in hell

Posted on May 5, 2012 by JokesLab

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". So,Bill takes a look at hell and see's these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, ...

Posted in American Jokes, Church and God Jokes, Computer Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged beach, Bill Gates, computer, demo, heaven, hell, screen saver, St. Peter, woman | Leave a comment

Heal, not raise the dead

Posted on May 4, 2012 by JokesLab

An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it's soon time for the healing portion of the show. "If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on the television, and one hand on the part of your body that ails you!" The old ...

Posted in Church and God Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Texas Jokes | Tagged death, God, husband, penis, TV, wife | Leave a comment

Smiling blonde

Posted on May 3, 2012 by JokesLab

A blonde has just got a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, which almost drives the truck over a cliff. The driver then motions for her to pull over, so she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it and not to get ...

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes | Tagged blonde, car, driver, laugh, seat, sports | Leave a comment

Blonde in first class cabin

Posted on May 2, 2012 by JokesLab

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to ...

Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes | Tagged airplane, blonde, captain, coach, first calss, flight attendant, New York, seat, woman | Leave a comment

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