Category Archives: Restaurant Jokes

Jokes on food, restaurants, waiters

How much should I drink?

funny-When-you-drink-too-much

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes … Continue reading

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Romantic food

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Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads. He observed … Continue reading

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Whole wheat bread

funny-angry-man-and-happy-couple

Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, “Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!” Leon replies, “You’re kidding! I can’t even manage to do it once! What’s your … Continue reading

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Leek soup?

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Checking the menu, Nigel, a restaurant customer, ordered a bowl of soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called over to the waitress and said, ’It’s all … Continue reading

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Guessing

funny details of a model, breast only

Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess … Continue reading

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The ritual

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A woman is preparing Sunday dinner, as she has always done since she got married. Every Sunday they have boiled chicken and her daughter, now a teenager, is entrusted to assist. “Mum,” her daughter asks, “why do you use two … Continue reading

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Air conditioning

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on … Continue reading

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Diet for stress

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie Mid-Afternoon Snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 … Continue reading

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Fun things at a drive-thru

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order. 2. Ask prices of everything on the menu and then order something that you did not ask the price for. 3. Pretend like your window is broken. Tell … Continue reading

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KFC: our daily chicken

A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change “The Lord’s Prayer” from “give us this day our daily bread” to “give us this day our daily chicken.” The Pope … Continue reading

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The ‘hind-lick’ maneuver

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the … Continue reading

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Torpedos

There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So she prayed to God and prayed and prayed, and eventually she got an answer — God told her that every time someone said ”pardon me” to her, her boobs would get … Continue reading

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Blonde and pizza

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, ”Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

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Special order

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper … Continue reading

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Blonde in Natchitoches

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the … Continue reading

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