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Category Archives: People Jokes
God will save him

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged America, boat, California, flood, God, helicopter
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Bad dog

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bath, cage, dog, neighbour, rabbit
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Sex with parrot

One day there was a teenage punk-rock boy who decided to go to the local shopping mall. He had just about the craziest hair-do you could imagine. His hair was spiked into chunks all over his head, and each spike … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged boy, drink, hair, parrot, sex, son, teenage
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Ned: the most popular man in the world

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged pope, popular, president, queen, restaurant
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Marine and Navy

A Marine and Navyman are in the bathroom together, and the Marine goes to leave without washing his hands. “Hey,” says the Navyman, “in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands.” “In the Marines, they teach us not … Continue reading
Einsteinism

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged Albert Einstein, chauffeur, dinner, professor, question, speech
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Top ten… sleeping at desk

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged excuse, office, sleep, top 10 list
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Carpenter

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged blonde, carpenter, ear, pencil, saw, street, window
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Three hymns

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to … Continue reading
Posted in Church and God Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes, Your Momma Jokes
Tagged church, donation, Hymn, man, pastor, sex, woman
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Blondes on a rope

There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope climbing up a mountain. They had nothing to hold them to the rope. The rope began slipping and breaking. The brunette said, ”Girls, I’m going to let go of the rope, … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Redneck Jokes, Sports Jokes
Tagged blonde, brunette, clap, rope, speech
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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading
Posted in Computer Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged bug, computer, girl friend, husband, mistress, popup, resource, upgrade, wife
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Blondes with a convertible

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in … Continue reading
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Car Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged blonde, car, convertible, key, lock, rain, woman
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Parachute

Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, “My country … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes
Tagged accident, airplane, girl, parachute, politician, president
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Chemistry, Duke and Bonkistry

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as “Bonkistry”. He has been around forever, so I wouldn’t put it past him to come up with … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Computer Jokes, People Jokes, Science Jokes
Tagged chemistry, Duke, exam, tire
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Feed the goldfish

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ”Now, what do I give them … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Blonde Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged animal, blonde, brunette, drink, fish, food, goldfish
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The engineer’s love life
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said, “I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The … Continue reading
Posted in Campus Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged architect, artist, engineer, job, lab, mistress, wife
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Texas Talkin’

Here’s what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State… The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving = Not too smart As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person Tighter than bark on a … Continue reading
Posted in Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged english, Texas, vocabulary, wisdom
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How to mess with the IRS?

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) –Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, People Jokes, Politician Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged check, government, IRS, letter, money, signature, staple, tax
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Sleepy trucker

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me … Continue reading
Posted in Car Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged car, driving, jogger, sleep, time, truck
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Blonde’s sheep

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you … Continue reading
Posted in Animal Jokes, Blonde Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged blonde, dog, driving, farmer, sheep
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