Category Archives: People Jokes

Jokes on all kinds of people, police, fireman, official, bankers….

God will save him

secret-operation

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the … Continue reading

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Bad dog

why-lie-i-need-a-cold-beer

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he … Continue reading

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Sex with parrot

funny-hairdo-mouth-eyes-nose

One day there was a teenage punk-rock boy who decided to go to the local shopping mall. He had just about the craziest hair-do you could imagine. His hair was spiked into chunks all over his head, and each spike … Continue reading

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Ned: the most popular man in the world

bikini-girls-club

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading

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Marine and Navy

know-your-size

A Marine and Navyman are in the bathroom together, and the Marine goes to leave without washing his hands. “Hey,” says the Navyman, “in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands.” “In the Marines, they teach us not … Continue reading

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Einsteinism

book-bathtub

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of … Continue reading

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Top ten… sleeping at desk

funny-obama

10) ”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) ”This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) ”Whew! Guess I left the top off … Continue reading

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Carpenter

funny-tattoo-eyes

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called … Continue reading

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Three hymns

funny-photo-bomb-daughter-and-angry-mother

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to … Continue reading

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Blondes on a rope

drunken-girls-on-tree

There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope climbing up a mountain. They had nothing to hold them to the rope. The rope began slipping and breaking. The brunette said, ”Girls, I’m going to let go of the rope, … Continue reading

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Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

new-york-giants-fan-showning-buttocks-and-ball

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 … Continue reading

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Blondes with a convertible

car-crash-photo

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in … Continue reading

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Parachute

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, “My country … Continue reading

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Chemistry, Duke and Bonkistry

recession-clothing

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as “Bonkistry”. He has been around forever, so I wouldn’t put it past him to come up with … Continue reading

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Feed the goldfish

funny-curious-dolphin-kissing-woman

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ”Now, what do I give them … Continue reading

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The engineer’s love life

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said, “I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The … Continue reading

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Texas Talkin’

funny-banana-corn

Here’s what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State… The engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving = Not too smart As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person Tighter than bark on a … Continue reading

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How to mess with the IRS?

secret-operation

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) –Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from … Continue reading

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Sleepy trucker

ass-symbols

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me … Continue reading

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Blonde’s sheep

funny-photobomb-beauty-and-buttocks

Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says “If you can count all my sheep I’ll let you … Continue reading

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