Author Archives: JokesLab

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safety-driving-school

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, “You’ve shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell.” “I don’t know!” she flounders. … Continue reading

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Drinking buddies

photo-bomb-dog-mating

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So where are you from, then?” “I’m from Ireland.” … Continue reading

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The tomato family

funny-pose-feel-the-breast

The Tomato family is walking down the street. There’s the mama tomato, the papa tomato and baby tomato. They’re walking at a good pace when the baby starts lagging behind. Papa tomato starts getting mad. By the third block papa … Continue reading

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Dopey shagged a penguin

dog-has-sex-with-monkey

The seven dwarves are in Rome visiting the Vatican, when Dopey goes up to the Pope’s door and rings the doorbell. The pope answers the door, and asks: “Dopey, my son, what can I do for you?” Dopey asks, “Excuse … Continue reading

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Go get your mother

funny-scene-big-john

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a near-by mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked his Father, ”What … Continue reading

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Waiting for autumn

funny-model-i-kick-your-ass

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, “What are … Continue reading

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Men vs. Women

funny-man-and-woman-before-marriage

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, … Continue reading

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Hilarious signs

funny-shit-slogan-i-dont-need-sex

Over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.” Pizza shop … Continue reading

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How do you like that?

funny-blow-job

A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the … Continue reading

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Mad cow

funny-blonde-parking

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, ”So what do you think of mad cow disease?” The other replies, ”I dunno, I’m a chicken.”

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Jesus saves

funny-best-details-of-the-model

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am … Continue reading

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Mexican smuggler

funny-shopping-bag-watermelon

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that get … Continue reading

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Christian bear

free-blow-job-if-you-buy-coke-here

One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting. When in the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a while until all of a sudden he tripped over a … Continue reading

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Guess

funny-sign-no-peeing

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, “chickens.” “Chickens, eh?” says one guy. “Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?” “Heck,” says the … Continue reading

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Nice trade

funny-six-leg-table-sexy-woman-legs

Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White House from a trip to Arkansas with a pig under each arm. A secret serviceman greeted him. “Nice pigs, sir!” “Thank you. Though these are no ordinary pigs — they’re Arkansas Razorbacks! … Continue reading

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Gay rooster

curious-dolphin

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn’t … Continue reading

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Mom’s favourite gift

for-research-purpose-only-t-shirt-slogan

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. “Well,” said the first one, “I … Continue reading

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Blonde swimming

funny-girl-smelling-her-breast

Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he sees another blonde rowing with oars in a cornfield. Well, he is just absolutely furious and he gets out of the car and yells to the … Continue reading

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Lust a lot

3-words-that-will-save-the-economy

While riding a bus, I overheard one woman ask another, with great curiosity, “Well, what happened on your date with dashing Prince Lancelot?” “Yuk!” was the disillusioned reply. “He was more like disgusting Prince Lust-a-lot—and I was the one who … Continue reading

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Cross-examining

funny-bush-picking-up-phone

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you check for breathing? … Continue reading

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