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Tag Archives: wife
On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying “Pass the sugar, sugar…. Pass the honey, honey.” Then he says, “Pass the tea, you old … Continue reading
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion … Continue reading
A man had tickets to see the Gold Medal Volleyball Match at the Olympics, front row, center court. As he sits down, a woman comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. “No,” he … Continue reading
A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asked him what happened. “Well, it’s like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round … Continue reading
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put … Continue reading
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very … Continue reading
A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long. Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch … Continue reading
Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary’s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, “Waiter! Waiter! Come over … Continue reading
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself. “You know, dear,” she says, “I look in the mirror, and I see an old … Continue reading
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made … Continue reading
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail … Continue reading
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After making love, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her … Continue reading
An Irishman, a Italian and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for … Continue reading
A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car. She curtly declines his offer by saying, “That’s not quite what I had in mind.” Frantically he offers her a new house. Again she rejects … Continue reading
A recently-married man goes into a drugstore to pick up some things. The clerk greets him…. Clerk: Hey, how did the wedding go? Man: Well, we got married. Clerk: That’s good! Man: No, that’s bad. I wasn’t wearing any clothes. … Continue reading
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan and decides to hide in the … Continue reading
A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls … Continue reading
Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask … Continue reading