Category Archives: Family Jokes

Surprise

photo-bomb-naked-man

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in … Continue reading

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Last name

funny-wedding-photo-seduce-the-bride

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David … Continue reading

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Reflections

funny-shark-design-building

1. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape. 3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take … Continue reading

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The creation of man

funny-blow-job

God created the mule, and told him, ” You will be a mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back.   You will eat grass and lack intelligence.  You will live for 50 years.” The … Continue reading

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Gorilla Chase!

funny-gay-monkeys

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he’d never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of … Continue reading

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Blonde painting- two coats

funny-photo-woman-and-pooping-dog

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart. While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day … Continue reading

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Good sons

photo-bomb-dog-mating

Three women started boasting about their sons. “What a birthday I had last year!” exclaimed the first. “My son, that wonderful boy, threw me a big party in a fancy restaurant. He even paid for plane tickets for my friends.” … Continue reading

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Emergency brake

funny-bicycle-for-couple

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am,” said the cop, “I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. … Continue reading

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Fishing?

cheater-one-man-with-two-women

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, “Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack … Continue reading

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Compliments

yard-sign-cheating-husband

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal. “Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the … Continue reading

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Time to go home

sex-education-she-may-look-clean-but

Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day’s work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked … Continue reading

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Just get the hell out!

why-hooker-is-better-than-wife

A wife comes in and yells, ”Honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!” Her husband yells back, ”Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?” The wife replies, ”I don’t care! Just get the hell out!”

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On the roof

shooting-the-cheater-caught

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so … Continue reading

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The rules (by her)

how-to-get-a-man-to-wash-his-hands

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change … Continue reading

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Bad luck

funny-and-sexy-ads-mens-dream

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to,he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he … Continue reading

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Oreo personality test

funny-shadow-illusion-not-breast-just-cups

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight in to their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: 1. The whole thing all at once. 2. One bite … Continue reading

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Fromal Bank

dreams-of-pigs-piggybank

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ’practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill … Continue reading

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What is it?

funny-wedding-animal-legs

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up … Continue reading

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Before it starts

funny-shopping-bag-sexy-thigh

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten … Continue reading

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Turkey roll

funny-pull-sign-burger-king

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.” “Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.” “No, mother,” you don’t understand. “I … Continue reading

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