Category Archives: Texas Jokes

Get your oil changed

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby … Continue reading

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Blonde and police car

car-crash-photo

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After they’ve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she’s … Continue reading

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I was hiding innocently in the fridge

cheater-caught

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. “I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all … Continue reading

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Go to Hell, there are no Catholics there

sexy-Dallas-cheerleaders-girls

Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn’t see very well because of the nun’s little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave. ”I … Continue reading

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Camping night

funny-gorilla

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. ”Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, ”I … Continue reading

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Getting out of mud

sexy-teacher-get-attentions-from-all-young-football-players

Two guys were attending a party in the woods, when all of a sudden, the skies opened up and rained torrents on everybody. They ran for their car, jumped in, and gunned it. They were going pretty fast when an … Continue reading

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You’ve got mail

pussy-and-cat

A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stomped her foot and went back inside. … Continue reading

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3 wishes of a government worker

funny-old-gentleman-and-boobs

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c’mon, I’m sure there’s one buried in your desk too.) Since he’d heard these jokes before, he knew that he … Continue reading

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Vice President

arching-at-home-boost-boobs

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it … Continue reading

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Stop sign

state-sign-of-Vermont-pure-maple-syrup

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied. “You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained. “But … Continue reading

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First sex with sheep

group-sex-doggy-style

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where h’d first had sex. “It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and … Continue reading

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I just love the ballet

funny-and-sexy-ads-mens-underwear-jbs

A woman wearing a tank-top sits down at a bar and raises her hand to gain the bartender’s attention, exposing a tuft of underarm hair that had not seen a razor in months. The bartender, noticing the sickened look on … Continue reading

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Bra types

funny-Japanese-bra-sun-glasses

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife” What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the … Continue reading

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Texan baby

drink-till-you-want-me

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and announced that his wife had just produced a typical Texas baby, weighing a whopping twenty pounds. “WOW!” was the response from everyone at the bar. Two weeks … Continue reading

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The never-ending joint

save-a-virgin-do-me-instead

There was this pot-head walking down a road when a genie appeared in front of him and said, “I’ll grant you two wishes. What is your first wish?” asked the genie. The pot-head replied, “I want a never ending joint. … Continue reading

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What is it?

funny-wedding-cake-you-cannot-run-away

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, … Continue reading

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Letter to God

funny-shit-slogan-i-dont-need-sex

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send … Continue reading

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Pull over in highway

funny-woman-parking-2

One day a lady was driving on the highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police … Continue reading

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Bad dog

why-lie-i-need-a-cold-beer

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he … Continue reading

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Ned: the most popular man in the world

bikini-girls-club

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey … Continue reading

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