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Category Archives: American Jokes
The tomato family
The Tomato family is walking down the street. There’s the mama tomato, the papa tomato and baby tomato. They’re walking at a good pace when the baby starts lagging behind. Papa tomato starts getting mad. By the third block papa … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Campus Jokes, Car Jokes, Family Jokes, Kids Jokes
Tagged car, driving, father, ketchup, son, tomato
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Go get your mother
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a near-by mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked his Father, ”What … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, Family Jokes, Hotel and Travel Jokes, Kids Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged Amish, child, elevator, husband, lift, wife, woman
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Scotsman at a baseball game
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring “Run….Run!” The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, British Jokes, Sports Jokes
Tagged ball, baseball, Scotsman, sports, tourist
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Emergency brake
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am,” said the cop, “I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Animal Jokes, Family Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged Amish, brake, horse and buggy, husband, police, wife
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Men and woman
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and … Continue reading
Dumb Crooks Roundup
BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES…THEY COULD COME IN HANDY A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, Miscellaneous Jokes, People Jokes
Tagged arrest, court, funny, judge, shop, thief
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You know you’re from Michigan when…
1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding. 2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder. 3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt. 4) Owning … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, People Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged Canada, Michigan, summer, weather, winter
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The Abortion Bill
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. “What is it?” exclaims the President. “It’s the Abortion Bill, Mr. President – what do you want to do about … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Politician Jokes, Relationship, Marriage, and Sex Jokes
Tagged abortion, Bill Clinton, money, sex, White House
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Democrats vs Republicans
Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usually wear … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Politician Jokes, Top 10 List
Tagged book, car, child, democrat, politician, republican, tax, top 10 list, USA
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Four sons
Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I’m so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he’s made enough that … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Family Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Sports Jokes
Tagged car, father, golf, home, money, son, stripper
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Sinking ship
Posted in American Jokes, Politician Jokes, Short Q & A
Tagged boat, Geoge Dubya Bush
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The Jewish vote
A fence bid
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, New York Jokes, Office Jokes, People Jokes, Texas Jokes
Tagged bid, contractor, Florida, New York, Texas
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Polish Remover
One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, “How sure are you … Continue reading
Posted in American Jokes, Country Jokes, Police Jokes
Tagged murder, New York, Poland, police
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Senate slander
A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other Senators … Continue reading
Open season on lawyers!
WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS 1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing … Continue reading